If you can spread peanut butter on top of jelly, you’re a witch.

Lorem ipsum dolor Chiquita.

I mean, me CUTLASS. Yes, that be it. Arr.

Dole or Chiquita?

Then go crap on a statue and be your best pidgeon.

Huh??

Is this a “causation vs correlation” thing again?

I’m DEAF?!?!

You want better phone service? DRINK MORE OAT MILK. It’s just math.

Either “the duality of humankind” or “cognitive dissonance”. Or both, I’m not a cop.

That could have purchased 2GW of solar farms, enough to power roughly 2 million households, and have done so for a generation.

I’m not going to ask you anything, I’m going to tell you to resign and leave immediately.

Couldn’t the artist have at least misspelled it “TRAMP”?

Aw dammit, he’s going to do ONE thing I would appreciate.

Big yikes, that’s more than enough red flags for me, you gotta get GONE, and I mean yesterday.

They wait until you take a bite. I swear.

I’m gonna start getting them to wait until after I’ve swallowed to answer them.

I haven’t asked him, so I really can’t say. Don’t want to speak for him, you know.

13i, which puts me on a scale perpendicular to this axis.

Turn off the AI, and rehire people, done.

• CEOs, guaranteed

Goats are the only animal safe from cats pushing them off the edge.