

Lots of answers here, but let me give you an alternate viewpoint, from the NHL.
“Fuck you for caring about the sport, now give us some more fucking money! You want stats, hire a statistician. Except you can’t because you’re a POOR FUCKER!”
“Now shut up and buy another watery $35 beer.”

















Grow up.
Reply to the RSVP with a polite “unable to attend.”
Tell your coworkers “I am unable to attend.”
Anyone who asks more than that deserves a slap and a discussion with HR.
Fuck 'em. It’s your life. Live it.