I guess you can become like that? I remember times when I took all the shit to heart. I wasn’t told much though just like “your nose is big” silly stuff like that hurts when it is the only bad thing you hear though so I hope you understand.

I’m actually both sad and glad I am this way. On one hand it feels great to untouchable by words and y’know just live the life.

But… it feels like I lose something when I am, in my own terms, a wall. It’s like… yeah I have a spine (not to say you don’t I’m so sorry if it came out that way) but it just feels like… I sometimes hurt people along the way.

I saw your latest post about your partner David and his friend Sean and I’m sad to say I have a friend whom I treat the way Sean treats you parther.

Now I don’t know anything about any of you but I can safely say in my case the guy is a dick who doesn’t respect my boundaries.

Obvious thing to do for me is to cut ties with the guy. And I did. Albeit with hesitation. There is this little thought in my head that lingers “am I a dick?”.

The guy is pretty messed up. He lost his father long ago and probably has schizophrenia. That is why I feel bad. And… why I kind of envy you.

Anyway the point is, you can fix yourself. I have found it’s to be optimistic and be aware of the greater things going on around you. It makes you think that whatever happens to you, is so small in compared to the great things around you that they are ultimately pointless.

How you might do that? Well I don’t know I read fiction books all my life my brain just turned that way. I guess you could do the same. Hobbies, hobbies, hobbies.