I am violent with my life partner. I rage. I don’t mean to. He lies to me. Intentionally triggers and gaslights me. Plays dumb; his jedi mind tricks he once called them then gaslit me about that ever since. He lied about having a warrant in order to control me and make me think I was going to get arrested. Lied about having HIV for the same reason. I shouldn’t be violent with him but I’m schizoaffective n autistic. I lose my shit. I always apologize; he never has. Some of this is bullshit! And some of it is Karma. He told his father I touched him inappropriately. I thought he was going to tell the cops I molested him, as he made me accept that he was going to. I’m not a violent person naturally. I have freak outs where I am overwhelmed and I become highly dysregulated. I’ve been hospitalized a lot for it. It drives me nuts he does this, and he continues to do it, under the pretense that it is strengthening my prefrontal cortex. I just want the person who loves me, who I originally met. He’s changed; he’s using me. I changed; I’ve grown. It never ends. Something has got to give…
Sorry, took them all to write that.
I just do it naturally. I just wrote a “What Would Epstein Do?” article about the cornerstone and police state this morning. Decided against it. One homeless man who commented on me first foraging in trash years ago said, “the world ain’t ready for us yet.” Forgot the children of this world can’t help themselves but do what they were programmed to do for the first eighteen+ years of their lives. Occult just means “hidden,” like most features of the police state.