It’s not a childhood trauma thing. I had a decent upbringing. I’ve been like this all my life. I’ll talk about people using their name to others when the named person isn’t around, but I avoid using their name as a vocative to their face.
Same thing with people using my name. I don’t mind people summoning me by calling my name, but I cringe when people use my name as a vocative in front of me. I also get irritated when people I don’t know and have no intention of establishing a relationship with use my name.
I worked in a call center and we had the usual opening “thank you for calling _____ my name is early_riser, how can I help you?” I assumed the unspoken rule was that I’m giving my name so the client can later refer to me in complaints or commendations, not because I want to establish anything more than a client-employee relationship. Also, I always use “sir” or “ma’am” when addressing clients, and hope they reciprocate that respect.
Edit:
Yes I know what names are for. Also “angry” was too strong a word. I don’t lash out at people when they do this. I understand that people are trying to be friendly when they use my name and that the irritation is unwarranted, but it’s there and I want to know why.
Where are you from? Do you have a caste system? I’m in the US and I am pretty nice to patients and it’s rare that someone has a problem with me. Here we are called medical student or student doctor but it’s pretty clear we aren’t the ones in charge so it’s not like we’re tricking the patients.
I trained at a center with a majority population of Black and brown people and a lot of disadvantaged people, so I thought calling every man sir was a good idea, since it gave the implication I didn’t think I was any better than them. We have a long history of medical racism here. Or more rarely I do Mr/Ms Firstname
Latinamerica, no caste system. But tons of colonialism.
Lotta machismo too.
Very interesting, ty for giving me another perspective. I find titles onerous unless you’re working–don’t call me Dr at the corner store, I’m not gonna thank a random off-duty veteran for their service, etc–because it ranks people as though some are more worthy than others. I didn’t know that about lawyers in latin america