And when women, like me, admit it was nothing special, we are shamed. The example is all the men trying to convince me that I’m wrong about virginity or that I’m some special case because I wasn’t traumatized.
You are conflating two different things. The post is about virginity being “significant” but your position seems to be more about your first sex being “especially good” which is not what any person ever claims.
Also no one is shaming you in this thread. I guess maybe you had bad experiences elsewhere? There is nothing shameful with not caring about your virginity but that isn’t a common position.
The very first comment I replied to opened with a man stating “What a stupid take” because a woman said she is going to teach her daughter that virginity is not some special thing that a boy can take away from her. The first comment mentions that it “needs to be with someone special”, that is putting virginity on a pedestal. It should be with someone who isn’t an asshole and wants you to have fun too sure, but they don’t need to be special. Young folks should be educated on how to have safe sex and make it fun, if they choose to have sex at all.
I am being told in comments that I am some special case or an outlier, using anecdotal data btw, because I am a woman who was not traumatized my first time having sex and I am saying sex is just sex. Even first time having sex is still just sex. And it’s always women’s virginity that gets treated this way, never men’s virginity. Men get a high five when they fuck for the first time, women get treated like we are sluts. Like there is something special about virgin women.
Treating virginity as something to be treasured that someone can take from you is exactly why women feel shamed for enjoying sex. It’s perpetuating purity culture and the idea that women are wrong because we also enjoy fucking.
Blegh. So much loaded language. A MAN said one thing in reference to something a WOMAN said. How dare he.
IMO sex should always be with some one special to you, it’s not respecting your own body to just go fuck whoever. That’s my perspective on it, I’m not calling those that disagree with it a whore but it’s how I feel people should treat their own body. Why take on the various risks of sex with some random person you don’t care about? At that point why not just Jack or Jill yourself. And yes, that applies to men too - which I assume will blow your mind. Similar to how I think people should eat healthy foods… those that don’t aren’t morally wrong they just aren’t setting themselves up for success and IMO making a mistake.
I agree most western cultures put too much emphasis on female virginity, catholicism stands out, but IMO you’ve gone way too far in the opposite direction into “sex literally has no cost” which is factually wrong.
I mean I’m a guy but that doesn’t match what literally any girl in my life has ever said.
They pretty much all share a similar story about them being extremely nervous and it being uncomfortable awkward sex. No one described it as “magical” and also no one described it as “just another Wednesday”.
I feel like that moment is pretty insignificant to most young girls.
And when women, like me, admit it was nothing special, we are shamed. The example is all the men trying to convince me that I’m wrong about virginity or that I’m some special case because I wasn’t traumatized.
You are conflating two different things. The post is about virginity being “significant” but your position seems to be more about your first sex being “especially good” which is not what any person ever claims.
Also no one is shaming you in this thread. I guess maybe you had bad experiences elsewhere? There is nothing shameful with not caring about your virginity but that isn’t a common position.
The very first comment I replied to opened with a man stating “What a stupid take” because a woman said she is going to teach her daughter that virginity is not some special thing that a boy can take away from her. The first comment mentions that it “needs to be with someone special”, that is putting virginity on a pedestal. It should be with someone who isn’t an asshole and wants you to have fun too sure, but they don’t need to be special. Young folks should be educated on how to have safe sex and make it fun, if they choose to have sex at all.
I am being told in comments that I am some special case or an outlier, using anecdotal data btw, because I am a woman who was not traumatized my first time having sex and I am saying sex is just sex. Even first time having sex is still just sex. And it’s always women’s virginity that gets treated this way, never men’s virginity. Men get a high five when they fuck for the first time, women get treated like we are sluts. Like there is something special about virgin women.
Treating virginity as something to be treasured that someone can take from you is exactly why women feel shamed for enjoying sex. It’s perpetuating purity culture and the idea that women are wrong because we also enjoy fucking.
Maybe my position should be more common.
Blegh. So much loaded language. A MAN said one thing in reference to something a WOMAN said. How dare he.
IMO sex should always be with some one special to you, it’s not respecting your own body to just go fuck whoever. That’s my perspective on it, I’m not calling those that disagree with it a whore but it’s how I feel people should treat their own body. Why take on the various risks of sex with some random person you don’t care about? At that point why not just Jack or Jill yourself. And yes, that applies to men too - which I assume will blow your mind. Similar to how I think people should eat healthy foods… those that don’t aren’t morally wrong they just aren’t setting themselves up for success and IMO making a mistake.
I agree most western cultures put too much emphasis on female virginity, catholicism stands out, but IMO you’ve gone way too far in the opposite direction into “sex literally has no cost” which is factually wrong.
🤣 I literally never said that, but you do you and stay prude dude ✌️
I mean I’m a guy but that doesn’t match what literally any girl in my life has ever said.
They pretty much all share a similar story about them being extremely nervous and it being uncomfortable awkward sex. No one described it as “magical” and also no one described it as “just another Wednesday”.