• thefartographer@lemm.ee
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      3 months ago

      I heard that at Jessica’s party, while everyone was playing 7 Minutes in Heaven, we were making out in her mom’s car and that our mustaches got tangled.

      I also heard that we put gerbils in each other’s butts, which is ridiculous since we only used hamsters.

      • TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        I keep my mustache far too short for them to have tangled. They’ll have to do better than that!

        I do have to say that yours is nice and soft though. Do you condition it?

          • TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
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            3 months ago

            I’m going to start using mayonnaise treatments on my mustache, but I need a shower all the time. I guess I can get a mustache hairnet and line it with plastic wrap.

            That’s why you always smell so delicious!

            • thefartographer@lemm.ee
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              3 months ago

              Hairnet Mayonnaise Sack

              Look out Butthole Surfers, there’s a new band willing to give Texans a bad name!

              • TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
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                3 months ago

                Joke all you like, I’ve got a band gig this weekend with some guys as strange as I am. The band name may change.

                But we’re a bunch of middle aged rockers so I’m not sure we’ll be out there giving the whole state a bad name. Probably just Spring.

                • thefartographer@lemm.ee
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                  3 months ago

                  Spring??? Don’t worry, Spring doesn’t need any of your help to give it a bad name.

                  If Houston is Zac Efron, Spring is that intense stare he does in interviews that makes you wonder if he’s high or contemplating murder

                  • TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
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                    3 months ago

                    You ain’t wrong, but the bars there are exactly my kind of fun. That’s why we play there. It reminds me a lot of my ex, actually. Dirty, loud, a little dangerous, and open to the public.