My mom is in assisted living and I have a suspicion that the staff, or perhaps a resident, is taking her money. I need something that won’t look out of place and isn’t easily disabled, maybe it plays possum when unplugged but has battery backup. Anyone have any advice?

  • philpo@feddit.org
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    13 hours ago

    Yeah. It would be a crime in my jurisdiction anyway, but nevertheless basically every nursing home administration I worked with (and I have nursing homes in 7 countries as clients) would instantly react massively to a relative doing this.

    We would advise them to ban the relative from entering the premises and then discuss if the contract should be cancelled. That very much depends on the individual circumstances - if it is a distant relative who is simply intrusive it’s a different story to a situation when the offender is the main contact for the client, also the expected remaining contract time (in other words how long a patient is expected to live) should be considered.In special circumstances (dying patient) supervised visits of said relative may be considered.

    • Noel_Skum@sh.itjust.works
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      13 hours ago

      That seems completely reasonable. I, personally, would support such a stance from any care home. If you don’t trust us enough to broach a subject with us I wouldn’t want you as a client.

      • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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        9 hours ago

        That seems completely reasonable.

        It seems completely unreasonable to me. If a person wants a security camera in their home, they should be allowed to have one.

        Thinking of that room as your staff’s workplace makes me wonder if you’ve forgotten it’s also someone’s home.

        • Noel_Skum@sh.itjust.works
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          1 hour ago

          Yes, it is someone’s home… and in this specific incidence it is a third party trying to install a camera. There is nothing in the post that says the mother has requested to be filmed in her most intimate setting.

        • philpo@feddit.org
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          8 hours ago

          It is not their home. Period.

          In your home you can also install a cooktop/hot plate, light a candle, paint the walls any colour you like. All of which you are not allowed to do in a nursing home.

          And it is not the patient who wants the camera, it’s a relative. And even in your home a hidden camera that monitors a family members toilet/bathroom would be very much illegal in most jurisdictions,even more so if the family members may be unable to decide on that matter competently.

          Additionally it is a workplace. For professionals. Tbh: In almost all industrial nations it’s far easier to find another client than find another carer. And due to all the causes I already mentioned in this topic almost all carers will be very uncomfortable with this situation - because,well they care about their clients a lot. And that also includes the dignity of their patients.

          • Birdie
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            7 hours ago

            His mom is in assisted living, not a nursing home. My mom is also in assisted living. She’s got a stove in her apartment, she can cook her own meals if she wants to! Until recently, she could drive herself to Walmart if she felt like it. She has decorated her apartment in her own style because–get this–it’s her home!!

            Plus he hasn’t said one thing about pointing a camera at his mother’s bathroom!

            It is her home. How disheartening to see you think it isn’t.

      • philpo@feddit.org
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        8 hours ago

        It is simply an issue of humanity as well - nursing care is an immensely private issue for most people.

        Not many adults would want to be filmed when he/she is getting their diapers changed after they soiled themselves accidentally. If you ask most older folks they don’t even want their kids/relatives to be doing that out of shame. Most wouldn’t want their kids/relatives to even be present. (Note: This is highly dependent on the culture, though, I can only speak for Western&Arab clients here)

        Now imagine being the patient and not even knowing whether someone is watching. Besides - we often don’t know enough about the actual relationship between the kids and the client. I’ve seen old folks agree to a lot of shit simply because of pressure (“I won’t come and visit you anymore if you don’t sign this”), extortion (“I only bring the grandkids of you wire me amount XY”) or downright abuse.

        The later is also an issue: There are perverts all around the net. I know of at least one instance when a hidden camera (in that case placed by nurse) was used to stream nursing situation to a fetish site on the net. Thankfully by sheer luck the whole operation failed spectacularly before any harm was done.

        (The nurse placed the cam while the patient was away to dialysis. The patient collapsed there and sadly passed away in hospital. The nurse was unable to retrieve the camera due to being quarantined due to COVID. A relative who was either in IT sec or a LEO-i can’t remember -of the patient removed the belongings and found the camera. Nurse caught themselves on cam when installing the cam and was charged, sentenced to two years on probation, a high fine and banned from ever working in a care job again. The only reason why no actual prison sentence was handed out was the confession which helped in a larger case.)

        • Noel_Skum@sh.itjust.works
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          53 minutes ago

          Damn, that nurse/camera story is truly disgusting - but sadly, like you say, these people do exist. Imagine being an intensely private and reserved person your whole life - then one of your kids decides to film you 24/7. I’d be mortified if that was me.