I’m so sorry for making this post, I really wish I didn’t have to ask for help, but it’s exceptionally urgent. I’ve exhausted all of my other options and I don’t know where else to go.

I’ve been doing hard labor nearly every day the past month, backbreaking cargo deliveries, and it’s still not enough. I’m starting a new job next week with much better pay and hours, but in the interim I’m worried I won’t be able to make rent and pay my bills. I’m so exhausted and at my wit’s end and I don’t want to let my roommates down - they’re very kind people.

I feel like I’m on fire with anxiety, just totally on edge. Fiscal instability really fucks with your ability to think. I get my last paycheck tomorrow, but I have a very sure gut feeling that it won’t be enough for rent. The worst part is that the way my last job cuts my checks and doles out hours and tips, I have no idea how much the check will be until the day they pay me, so I’m not even sure how short I’m going to be on my rent and bill payments. I figure I’d be secure with an extra $600, but I’m also not sure how appropriate or realistic that is to ask for from relative strangers on the internet. Anything anyone can contribute or share at all would mean a lot.

I’ve cut down everything I can. I already live extremely modestly, practically an ascetic. I go to a food bank every Saturday and check local food pantries regularly, I’ve sold everything I have of any value, I only have two pairs of shoes and those are slowly disintegrating. I feel like the world is telling me I don’t deserve anything more - hell, by capital’s logic, I probably don’t deserve a safe home. I feel powerless, it’s scary nerve-wracking stuff.

If there’s anything I can do in return to show my gratitude, if you need help writing or proofreading or video editing or transcription or IT help or graphic design work or advice or anything, anything at all, please let me know.

Even if nobody is able to contribute, thank you so much to hexbear and everyone on this site, for your solidarity, for inspiring hope in my soul, and for making the world a much less scary place. I really feel the healing love of comradeship here, and I deeply appreciate all of you.