It doesn’t have to be useful, it’s also just very interesting and refreshing hearing your different experiences. And education has nothing to do with intelligence or how interesting you are nor how much you have to offer- though if need be we can be stupid together (I’m also a lump)
spoiler
I wouldn’t be surprised if there is some, or at least one such church where I am then (large metropolis… Klanada). Growing up I definitely saw and was around the more conservative, traditional wings (and in regards to my family as a kid- the also pretty cultlike wings).
I wouldn’t have expected excommunication (though I’m not a Catholic anymore), but for instance I’d be surprised if- though hearing your experiences perhaps it is different in some places- you were, if not not welcome, prevented from receiving communion, etc. In truth I wouldn’t have expected people to be able to simply enter Catholic churches presenting as other than their assigned-at-birth gender, or with their gay partners, etc. either.
There’s nothing to apologize for on your end, FWIW. Nowadays I’ve made my peace with it somewhat, but more than that- as with all things, religion always wound up being just another excuse or avenue for people (like my family) to spiral if you ask me. Not to excuse things for the institution and legacy itself, but it certainly had nothing to do with you and if anything it’s nice hearing of these positive developments, as tense as they may be.
As for the communal aspect- outside of religion as well, it’s something I’m struggling with. Socializing and belonging in general can be hard as hell, if you ever want to chat on it I’d be glad to for anything. Personally while I’ve not delved much into it and don’t think I’d ever call myself an overly spiritually-inclined person but myself- sometimes wanting some connection or grounding in the world (while being an agnostic) I’ve been thinking about perhaps delving into Shenism (“Chinese folk religion/s”), as well as Buddhism which I have had some interaction with from my mom’s side and which has helped me greatly in secular ways as well. And- while it took a while for me to return to some levels of appreciation in it, I still have a great- respect or grounding, even if I don’t think I’d say I believe in the theology behind it, for the idealized/original character, principles and the grassroots history of the church as I described.
And I can 100% relate to that isolation “even from God” (using the caps in respect to yours/your belief, anyways). Or that isolation from- the natural world, from some metaphysical, perhaps nonexistent or otherwise intangible and idealized state of being. I probably isolate myself from myself (though I get caught up in my thoughts a ton as well) by distractions or sleeping as well I guess. But I get where you’re coming from and would be glad to talk (or just chat stupid stuff) if you want. Been trying (and I suppose somewhat doing?) to connect with other humans at least and in the past… ehh few days I feel I’ve been gradually reviving in that regard, perhaps. But anyways yeah (I ramble, sorry). I’d be glad to talk
It doesn’t have to be useful, it’s also just very interesting and refreshing hearing your different experiences. And education has nothing to do with intelligence or how interesting you are nor how much you have to offer- though if need be we can be stupid together (I’m also a lump)
spoiler
I wouldn’t be surprised if there is some, or at least one such church where I am then (large metropolis… Klanada). Growing up I definitely saw and was around the more conservative, traditional wings (and in regards to my family as a kid- the also pretty cultlike wings).
I wouldn’t have expected excommunication (though I’m not a Catholic anymore), but for instance I’d be surprised if- though hearing your experiences perhaps it is different in some places- you were, if not not welcome, prevented from receiving communion, etc. In truth I wouldn’t have expected people to be able to simply enter Catholic churches presenting as other than their assigned-at-birth gender, or with their gay partners, etc. either.
There’s nothing to apologize for on your end, FWIW. Nowadays I’ve made my peace with it somewhat, but more than that- as with all things, religion always wound up being just another excuse or avenue for people (like my family) to spiral if you ask me. Not to excuse things for the institution and legacy itself, but it certainly had nothing to do with you and if anything it’s nice hearing of these positive developments, as tense as they may be.
As for the communal aspect- outside of religion as well, it’s something I’m struggling with. Socializing and belonging in general can be hard as hell, if you ever want to chat on it I’d be glad to for anything. Personally while I’ve not delved much into it and don’t think I’d ever call myself an overly spiritually-inclined person but myself- sometimes wanting some connection or grounding in the world (while being an agnostic) I’ve been thinking about perhaps delving into Shenism (“Chinese folk religion/s”), as well as Buddhism which I have had some interaction with from my mom’s side and which has helped me greatly in secular ways as well. And- while it took a while for me to return to some levels of appreciation in it, I still have a great- respect or grounding, even if I don’t think I’d say I believe in the theology behind it, for the idealized/original character, principles and the grassroots history of the church as I described.
And I can 100% relate to that isolation “even from God” (using the caps in respect to yours/your belief, anyways). Or that isolation from- the natural world, from some metaphysical, perhaps nonexistent or otherwise intangible and idealized state of being. I probably isolate myself from myself (though I get caught up in my thoughts a ton as well) by distractions or sleeping as well I guess. But I get where you’re coming from and would be glad to talk (or just chat stupid stuff) if you want. Been trying (and I suppose somewhat doing?) to connect with other humans at least and in the past… ehh few days I feel I’ve been gradually reviving in that regard, perhaps. But anyways yeah (I ramble, sorry). I’d be glad to talk