Here’s my primary claim: “This article is debunking the idea that there are probiotic benefits to eating dirt, which isn’t what we’re talking about at all”

Your claim starts with a misunderstanding. So you should start out by reading the citations more thoroughly.

My claim was that the page you linked is clearly talking about digestive health, not the immune system.

This is incorrect. And they are tightly interwoven.

So it’s worse than I thought, immediately, right off the bat, this page is already jumbling the concepts of digestive health and immune system. Just odd.

It’s not odd, it’s ignorance on your part, so read the citations more thoroughly so you get a better understanding.