I’m gonna be honest, I’m not asking for a friend, I’m asking for myself. Our daughter (24) married this man (65) in September. She herself stated money was the main reason, and he knows it but it doesn’t bother him. Both my husband & I are having a very hard time getting used to the idea.
She’s not underage and the husband knows the deal. I would make sure she has a back up (a man is not a plan). Make sure she has a job/career to fall back on, and if she’s stay-at-home, see if she gets any kind of money from her husband on a regular basis that she can put into her own savings. Other than that? Hopefully the wedding was bomb.
Be sure to wring the old fart dry
I’ll add one thing to other’s responses. Make sure she, not they, but she is covered financially. If she spends 10 years with him, not developing her career, and he drops her, will she be OK?
I.E. its perfectly OK for them to have this arrangement, it’s not OK for her to be in a situation where she feels trapped by money.
Bahaha dude u realized she “trapped” herself in that scenario?
How did we get to a place where people don’t deserve the consequences of their actions?
She only “deserves this” if it makes her rich???
Do u see how fucked in the head you are for thinking that?
You’ll both have lots of time to get used to the idea. Sorry to hear that your daughter turned into a gold digger marrying out of financial convinence instead of love. Its kind of unsavory and understandable why its causing some cognitive dissonance. But well thats the kind of thing our society incentivises and she’s an adult who can make her own choices. Its hard to judge too hard. Hope the husband is alright personality wise and even if this is dark to say, you can take some solice in that statistically speaking its probably not going to last too long and she will probably inherit some assets. If it all burns down it will be a hard but good lesson in not being with people just to extract value out of them.
There’s nothing wrong with prostitution. At least when her boss dies she gets a payout.
When my boss dies, I’ll still be expected to drive across four cities to do a job that I could do 100% remote during the pandemic
Pretty well, I got a rich kid.
how do you manage?
I’m relatively conservative, so probably a blend of bonds and market tracking index funds.
Based on all the replies this seems both are getting what they want out of it, so I don’t see an issue. Not every marriage needs to be a love match, but it does seem like there is some of that, so even better.
I do understand your moral reservations as it seems a bit cynical, but in the end it’s her life and she and any kids they might have are basically set for life.
In this economy? Good on her.
Smart kid
Tangent but how the fuck our we in a world where we can lock ourselves in with someone for financial gain, we have tiny computers in our pockets, we can travel the world in a matter of hours, we have set foot on the fucking moon. yet we are chained by capitalism.
We sell our buddies intimately, we give the largest chunk of our waking life to employers. We are fucking slaves. Knelt for our masters.
But the worst part is we accept it. Lion share of comments are praising her, a few are pointing towards a kink which if that the actual reason then what ever. I feel sorry for her, not pity but the fact she is potentially degrading herself/selling her intimacy for a the semblance of dignity in a world which should afford us all dignity.
Do you trust your daughter judgment? If so, trust her even when you may disagree.
If she is happy with the guy (reading your other comments, that seems to be the case) and since this mariage will give her the means to do all she wants and not worry too much. Imho, wishing them both the best seems the best thing to do :)
Good for you kiddo. Not that I have kids, but hey if it gets ya ahead and/or happy, go for it. As long as said kid is a consenting adult. Otherwise it’s cop time.
It’s sad that none of you realize that none of this is true, and it’s a troll for attention.
What makes you think they are trolling? Their answers are grounded and are providing context when needed. A troll would include details about a gold coin vault that he swims in.
How is it a troll for attention? What kind of attention? Does it really matter on the internet?
True or not, it’s really only a relatively new problem and only in western cultures (to my limited knowledge.) It wasn’t that long ago in Europe where kids, specifically girls, had a mate chosen for them, especially in upper classes. In India, it’s still a prevalent tradition. It’s really only western cultures that have the “love conquers all” ideal. Personally, I find it fascinating to talk to people who are successful and happy in an arranged marriage.
Reading the other comments it sounds like this might be a healthy relationship.
Idk if this is my own baggage talking but the only thing that comes to mind is has he been married before and how did that turn out?
If he marries women and divorces them and leaves them in a bad situation, then I guess she should be ready for him to do the same to her eventually. I wouldn’t suggest she go asking a lot of questions in a short period of time because I feel like this stuff comes out naturally over time but as she learns about it she should be aware of it and be prepared. (Do things like save money, get a degree or some other means of being able to support herself just in case shit happens.) I know people change, but I also know people don’t and can keep the same behavior from relationship to relationship.
He only had 1 wife before and he was widowed.
