I’m gonna be honest, I’m not asking for a friend, I’m asking for myself. Our daughter (24) married this man (65) in September. She herself stated money was the main reason, and he knows it but it doesn’t bother him. Both my husband & I are having a very hard time getting used to the idea.
My cynical view on this situation is the pros are 1) she’s fast-tracking home ownership for a generation that generally expects to not own homes, 2) she’s securing financial stability during the traditionally least financially stable era of adult life, 3) working as a paid live-in caregiver pays significantly little comparatively and it is damn hard work, 4) she may have plans on marrying for love later. She’s still maturing, so having a starter marriage that’s lucrative may not be a totally terrible idea.
Honestly at the end of the day, you want her to be happy, right? If she’s walked into this with eyes wide open, considered all the cons and still found the arrangement preferable, is it really the end of the world? What would your feelings be if she had chosen some other non traditional relationship?
Yeah in the old world where a little elbow grease was all you needed to afford a house, this would have been a coward’s move and creepy as hell.
Now, it beats the pants off of most jobs. Which is all the evidence you need of how much of a failure society has become. This situation should be awful, but it’s pretty nifty by comparison.