Feelings: I can’t shake away the thought that I’ve hurt her deeply. I mourn for the children we wanted to have. The house and the garden I promised. The stolen fertile years of her life. I hurt someone whose only crime was not quite being able to share the same headspace as me. I felt lonely in the relationship due to the language and the alien culture, but since I’ve been alone and moved back to my home country I’ve realised that I tend to just generally live in my head, regardless of language or company.
I feel that my loneliness problem wasn’t coming from her somewhat difficulty in hearing me, but in my difficulty sharing aspects of myself with others. I feel that I’ve ruined my life, and that’s okay, completely self-inflicted… but I can’t live with the idea that I’ve ruined hers too. The thought and the guilt buries me every night.
Closure: we’ve said goodbye a thousand times, and have talked about the above themes, but I can’t shake away the memories I have with her.
Not finding anyone to replace my ex in my heart. Someone not finding her and giving her the life we dreamed about.
She can’t be replaced
I know, I’m just unsure how to move on lifewise guiltwise lovewise
Have you grieved?
Yes, for about a year. I’m grieving still.
Do you have a lot of unresolved feelings? Did you get some sort of closure?
Feelings: I can’t shake away the thought that I’ve hurt her deeply. I mourn for the children we wanted to have. The house and the garden I promised. The stolen fertile years of her life. I hurt someone whose only crime was not quite being able to share the same headspace as me. I felt lonely in the relationship due to the language and the alien culture, but since I’ve been alone and moved back to my home country I’ve realised that I tend to just generally live in my head, regardless of language or company.
I feel that my loneliness problem wasn’t coming from her somewhat difficulty in hearing me, but in my difficulty sharing aspects of myself with others. I feel that I’ve ruined my life, and that’s okay, completely self-inflicted… but I can’t live with the idea that I’ve ruined hers too. The thought and the guilt buries me every night.
Closure: we’ve said goodbye a thousand times, and have talked about the above themes, but I can’t shake away the memories I have with her.
Sounds like a many incomplete closures? So you keep talking with each other or where are you now?
Broke up in February. Said a final goodbye in August. Haven’t talked since.