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- cross-posted to:
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How to get out of an uncomfortable egg culture situation with this one simple trick.
Real talk: Calling people eggs is a violation of the egg prime directive, and is considered invalidating as you are trying to say that a person is not the gender they identify as, that their identity is invalid. Don’t call people eggs, like ever, it’s extremely uncool.
Someone doesn’t have to be doing things as bad as the transphobes to still be doing something that isn’t ideal, or something that makes other people uncomfortable in a way that has nothing to do with transphobia. It feels bad for anyone to get told they’re doing gender wrong, even if the person doing it is trying to be helpful.
It doesn’t mean anyone doing that is evil, it just means gender is a messy thing to talk about and understand. People can’t always see that what is very affirming and clarifying for them may be constraining for someone else.
That’s a fair point of view, but I am still thrown that most people see the word “egg” as something outsiders use exclusively to coerce or out people since by the time such discourse reaches me it has devolved into people saying to never even consider the idea of respectfully discussing the idea of transing genders with anyone (rather than being a shorthand for “before I realized”).
Anecdotally I reached a stage in figuring things out where I knew what I was but was to batshit terrified to tell anyone, and anyone even considering discussing such a thing around me would’ve felt like a lifeline bordering on divine intervention. Instead I unintentionally played gender-identity chicken with a whole friend group who believed in the egg prime directive for like 8 months because my whole life is a long stream of sitcom-esque idiot plots.
Outsiders? What are you talking about? People get called eggs within trans communities. Violation of the egg prime directive happens almost exclusively within trans spaces from other trans people. Why is this so hard for you to understand or accept? I and others aren’t saying that trans people are evil and “trying to turn kids” or some dumb shit like that. We’re saying that a misguided or harmful group of trans people are acting in a way that is harmful to the community. Which isn’t a new concept might I add, transmedicalists anyone? What about right-wing trans people who fight against and undermine trans rights while trying to vilify other trans people who don’t share their beliefs, like actually vilify them, i.e. the groomer rhetoric. And yeah it is hypocritical, and damaging as fuck.
Do you understand now? Is it clearer now?
To be honest, not really. Call me isolated but idea you are describing sounds more like a bunch of tactless mooks making asses of themselves than an existential threat. Shame that poisons the well on using egg in a self-referential context since that’s the more benign definition (and the one transfems use more, anecdotally - but since when has anything transfems done online ever not been reappropriated in bad faith?). Still I can tell now that this is one of those arguments on the internet where about two people have a disagreement about something and don’t realize they have two entirely separate definitions of a word until 14 comments down.
Yeah it’s very clear you are unaware of the severity of the issue, or blind to it and the problems it causes. It also seems like you are unwilling to learn the details of the situation because when I give information about it, you ignore it or come to your own conclusions that seem to miss the mark entirely. To the point where I’m not even sure you aren’t having this discussion in bad faith.
It doesn’t have to, it can be used in ways that are acceptable. I really recommend you read the Egg prime directive speech I posted in Egg_irl. It explains the ways one can use “egg” correctly and the ways that are incorrect or harmful. I don’t really think you will though. From how you’ve engaged it seems like you’re more than happy to stick to your own conclusions despite others telling and showing you they are wrong. Since there is nothing more to say, I think this conversation is over.