How to get out of an uncomfortable egg culture situation with this one simple trick.
Real talk: Calling people eggs is a violation of the egg prime directive, and is considered invalidating as you are trying to say that a person is not the gender they identify as, that their identity is invalid. Don’t call people eggs, like ever, it’s extremely uncool.
Going to attempt to throw my 2¢ in. Love the thorough discussion so far. Hopefully it’s okay.
When someone displays behaviors or signs of being trans, it can be tempting to shout “egg!” since so many of us feel silly and ignorant about our past behaviors before learning of our gender identity. But this is projection, and demonstrates a lack of empathy and understanding as it does nothing to engage with what the subject in question is actually feeling at this moment in time.
Would it have been helpful for someone to tell me I was an egg before learning? I don’t think so. What would have been the most helpful is being taught exactly what being trans is and how people learn they are trans by sharing their feelings and experiences that they had prior to them figuring it out. This is what actually “broke” my egg. I knew trans people existed for a long time, but I didn’t understand that my feelings were trans feelings until I was able to hear other trans people discuss them.
So I do believe that it is unethical to tell people what their gender identity is, but I also believe it’s unethical not to share our experiences struggling with gender as much as possible so that others may better understand the feelings they may have. It’s what is so truly heartbreaking about the government censoring gender identity education in schools in the US.
I couldn’t agree more, it absolutely is a form of projection and demonstrates a lack of understanding and empathy. And yeah the best way to help people come out is to teach them as much as you can and let them come to their own conclusion.
I think a lot of people who are tempted to call out egg, or even actually do it, don’t understand the negative psychological impacts of being on the receiving end of it, either as a one-off, or worse as a beatdown session (long drawn out debate on your gender and presentation and why it’s wrong). As someone who’s gone through it, it feels very rotten, and I would personally agree with the lack of empathy and projection from how it felt. The people who did it to me were acting in a very self-centered and talking about why it was important I come out as trans to them, but not why it’s supposed to be important for me.
It is truly disheartening that information is being censored, accurate information should be freely and readily available. Honestly I feel like way more people should share their experiences, especially people who have more niche identities since the more information people have the better they can understand both others and themselves.
As a slight tangent I identify as Isogender in addition to Agender. It’s a very niche identity label. Actually it’s a gender modality but not many people know about it. I learned about it back when I used to be on Reddit and I heard it and felt it resonated with me.