• jadedwench [they/them]@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    4 days ago

    This hits a little too close to home. Still working on the anxiety and depression as an adult, but burnout has been a something I have done my best to put my foot down on, especially after my last job gave me panic attacks.

    I almost failed 1st grade because I didn’t understand the concept of homework. I had a huge pile of it stuffed in my desk. Eventually, they called my dad and I was given a chance to do the weeks of assignments and catch up. I didn’t do them because I was bored and spent most of the time in my own mental world. I finished the whole stack in a weekend. I got the dreaded “GT” designation in elementary and was accepted in this “pre-AP” program in middle school. Most people would view this as a mistake, but due to my specific circumstances, the alternative would have been worse.

    The burnout bordered on abuse. I had less homework in the actual Highschool AP classes. Hell, I had less homework in University. Apparently, the parents threw a big fit as their kids were staying up until midnight finishing homework several nights a week. The solution was to the lower the requirements to stay in the program. We were fucking 12! My hair was falling out by the end of the year. The first 2-3 weeks of summer I did nothing but sleep as I was exhausted. I have no idea how I managed to force myself through that for 3 years straight, while going through puberty, rapidly declining mental health, and still failing to find the right kind of stimulation.

    When I got the diagnosis as an adult, I went through a mourning period at all of the things I could have done better. Once the plastic in your brain settles, doing things as an adult is significantly harder. It is what it is though, and I still have done amazing things with my life.