I hope this question is not too weird (if so just tell me and I’ll delete it).
As a 21 year old guy from Germany I always admired Americans. What particularly impressed me was their social skills, their outgoing/confident nature and humor.
I don’t know if it’s also connected with being a German but I’m generally a very shy and introverted person. I have very strong social anxiety and just when someone in public or a neighbor sees me, it creates this overwhelming anxiety because I’m so scared that I will embarrass myself and be awkward because I have very bad self esteem and don’t know what to say and how to act. So most of the time I end up saying nothing and hiding myself which is very awkward or I say the bare minimum like to the grocery store cashier like only “Hello” and “Thanks, bye”. I have this extreme amount of shame that’s blocking me.
Germans might often generally be introverted or awkward but I’m on a whole different level.
Then Americans seem like this stark contrast which feels like the exact opposite. It feels like Americans are on a different level of confidence and extroversion than any country I know.
That makes it almost impossible for me to interact with an American as it creates this immense pressure on me (also cause English isn’t my native language).
Even on a daily basis the way they’re having small talks in grocery stores or talk to strangers that they’re walking by seems impossible for me. And I’m afraid that if I ever would go to the US and people talk to me that I would be extremely awkward and don’t say anything and wouldn’t be able to smile. And I’m afraid that this might come over as rude and they think bad of me.
I really would wanna interact with an American in person cause it seems like it could be so enriching but right now that seems impossible.
I was wondering if there is anything particular that makes Americans so good at that or if they have any secret. Or maybe they’re just on a different level cause they’re from the best country in the world and are the best/most capable people in the world.
Cause it’s my ultimate dream to be on that same level and interact with people like Americans.
Maybe it’s impossible for me to get to anything near that and I will simply never be good enough.
There’s an underlying requirement in America to have some level of confidence and to at least act somewhat extroverted in order to have some level of success. It’s genuine for some but for others, myself included, it’s a bit forced and faked… we’re just doing what we think we need to do in order to make it
But when you’ve earned the confidence it feels really good
If you’re working on getting somewhere, keep at it.
I guess it’s good there’s this requirement because I think it’s a very valuable and important skill. And sadly no one ever taught me this cause my mom always used to do the talking and managing for us when we were kids and that made me very shy and insecure.