Look at this man, he’s the apex of masculinity. He hates women and refuses to drink from straws because they constantly remind him of dick-sucking, he would never do that. He’s just always thinking about it whenever he sees anything remotely phallic. Straws are for women, because only women suck dick. Not him. He doesn’t. He won’t. He doesn’t even want to. Please, dicks, leave him alone.