I’m aware that this is probably a thing many people struggle with, their loved ones in the military. I’m one of them.

I’m proud of my gentlemanly fiancé. After all, he’s joining the military. But that’s the thing, after he turns 18, he will be signing up. My parents are very strict and we cannot actually see each other in person unless it’s somehow not considered a “date”. I have to be 21 to actually go on dates even if I am legally considered old enough.

Even so, he will be in the military, where there will not be a lot of time to go on dates.

I will not break up with him over this like one of his exes did. I am very proud that he’s joining, but I don’t know what to do when he’s away or to cope with loss.

Whatever I do, I won’t lose feelings for him.

  • GhostPain@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    17
    ·
    edit-2
    1 day ago

    Sounds like you need to join up to get away from your family. WTH?

    Or at least get married in secret, now, so you can get military spouse support.

    Anything to get you kids away from whatever upbringing that is. Jesus.

    And I don’t recommend the military to anyone except as a last resort.

    • 𝕽𝖚𝖆𝖎𝖉𝖍𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖍@midwest.social
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      9
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 day ago

      It could be cultural. Even in the US, OP’s family could be in a cult. But they could be in a country where family is more important than in most Western countries. Or live in an oppressive culture where women are property - like where the US is headed.

      I agree with you; I’m just saying it’s not always that easy, and if OP is living with their parents - because it’s a shitty time to be a young adult, impossibly expensive to find places to live, doesn’t have enough income, is going to college, or any number of reasons - they may have little choice.

      • relation_anon4238OP
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        7
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        edit-2
        1 day ago

        I live in the US with a Christian family who is also influenced by rape and SA survivors and that’s why I can’t be with men.

        • MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          1 day ago

          Those three years do nothing to protect you from those things though? No dating until you’re old enough to do so drunk? That’s ridiculously arbitrary, if not backwards.

          Personally, I joined up from an entirely mercenary outlook; No delusions about accomplishing good in the world, but there were thing$ and experiences/training(mostly) I wanted out of it. Getting away from an overly-controlling/meddlesome family was high on that list.

          • relation_anon4238OP
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            edit-2
            12 hours ago

            Makes sense. My friend’s mom agrees because her daughter survived men being creepy and she can’t date until she graduates high school or college (she’s 17)