At the age of 34, being extremely socially reclusive, and being autistic myself, I don’t really think I have any chance of getting a relationship. I also have issues with staying attached to neurotypical/non-autistic people, people that drink alcohol regularly (I was raised by an alcoholic grandmother, you probably can put the two together), also I’m disabled in other ways too, etc.
A lot of people often like to say “ace/aro/demi people just too disappointed/have too high standards”. Here I am being so disappointed and probably having way too high standards, yet I still vow for a romantic relationship, and thus often feel lonely from it.
You’re in a “place” where you have time to think about relationships. That’s a positive in that you’re thinking about them and want one. You don’t get relationships, you end up in them. And they don’t have to start in person or in public. Find a way to connect to local people, even Facebook could help with that but there are probably better options than Facebook.
I have an NT friend from long ago that was between relationships. I was asking what he was looking for. The answer is one I hold onto. “Someone normal. Ya know, fucked up like me.” When I think about it, there’s no magical “the one”, well not 99.99% of the time. But there are
normalfolks like me that I like talking with, playing games with, doing things with. And they’re not perfect, they’re fucked up like me. And sometimes someone will look at you like that. Poof, relationship.