smiling is happyslop. you only like it because it is good

The last time I smiled was on August 19th, 1991. I wear a dirty ushanka at all times, do not shave, and only take cold sponge baths because hot running water is bourgeois decadence.

smilemaxxing joycel gets mogged by stoicpilled mewchad

I’ve been at various levels of smile like a spectrum, just recently I was smiling so damn much I couldn’t stop and felt like a victim as I was going to sleep

Smilepilled joycel experiences brutal serotonin spike after being beautymogged by chad sunset

Smiling actually requires more muscles than not smiling, so if you were to smile, it would use up more energy and cause more wear and tear on more cells than any other reaction to a joke. So if you go through life without laughing at anything, you will use less energy and live longer. Furthermore, if you find a meme page on facebook that you like, you are more likely to visit it more often, and if you regularly spend your time looking at it, you will be more likely to stay up later, which reduces the amount of time you spend sleeping every night. Not only does that hurt your health, it also makes you more likely to drink caffeine, which can also be bad for your health. When you drink more and more caffeine every day, you eventually need more and more coffee to wake up every morning, so you will be more likely to drive to a coffee shop, which emits more fumes into the atmosphere. As the pollution level rises, it becomes harder and harder to breath clean air. So even though someone might think it would increase their lifespan to look at a funny meme instead of an unfunny meme, they would be right, because this image gave me cancer.

I haven’t smiled in 300 years

I once had a performance review include a directive to fix my RFB because my boss found me intimidating. Smiling is performance for insecure men.

I’m frownmaxxing my skullmogging so my cortisol doesn’t spike.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)