Late night shit post bc something happened to make me groan and complain, but dude if you’re a guy and you’re witnessing men dehumanize women, you gotta hold that accountable…if they’re making incel jokes, rape/SA jokes, jokes about sexually harassing women, spewing conservative trad family bs, degrading women for their appearance, you shouldn’t just sit back and laugh along uncomfortably
Your response to men around you encouraging you to sexually harass a girl you know in the most violating ways shouldn’t be anything but shutting down that conversation and admonishing them for thinking such rampant misogyny is okay
Same goes for white people. Ofc the same thing in the case of calling out stupid jokes and “humor” when they hear it, but also something that I see especially a lot in academia and academic settings where a POC is getting absolutely flamed on the spot by ignorant white people, and the other white people around them who are self proclaimed allies stay silent every single time and occasionally tell the POC (ofc after everything has “settled down”) how much they “admire them” for “being so strong”…although some situations have nuance, if you are never able to step outside your comfort zone for one second while people who are more vulnerable than you are taking all the fire, you need to do some self reflection on why that is
I’m going to bed now I’m exhausted 💔🥀🥀
Some days ago one of my coworkers asked another coworker and myself (both Dutch) about going out to a certain Dutch city for a bachelor party. His follow up question was if we knew any good prostitutes or strippers. I got mad at him for being a disgusting and degrading pig and asked him if he was seriously so pathetic as to do such a thing for a guy who WAS GOING TO GET MARRIED and that he should stop seeing women as objects to use.
He got really quiet and confused it seemed but that’s good. They need to be confronted by their shitty behavior and if you are in a position to do so, you should absolutely call them out for it.
I got really weird looks when I refused to go to the night portion of the bachelor party since it was going to a strip club.
Yes. It doesn’t take long for slightly misogynist jokes to become rape jokes when the jokester is enabled by other men.
It doesn’t take long for the ethnic stereotypes to become white supremacist eugenics in the same way.
I struggle with this a lot since I’m basically the only straight guy in every situation at work that doesn’t use every single moment where a woman isn’t nearby to say something deplorable. And while I try to push back without making enemies (I acknowledge the irony), it’s been really difficult.
If in 2026 someone is still behaving in the ways you described, I’m not convinced that they’re worth speaking to or associating with at all.
What excuse is there for still thinking that these types of comments are acceptable?
Telling them off is likely to result in them finding someone more receptive especially at a time when it is increasingly easy to insulate yourself in a fringe community online.
I have worked, and currently work with many veterans, many of which have seen actual combat. Their sanity and pleasant life relies on them believing in the things they say, the jokes they make. That the women their associates abused deserved it. That the families they tore apart were the future’s terror cells. That all of southwest asia is barbaric and backwards. Yet the same individuals have the self awareness to also joke about U.S conflicts only being for the sake of oil.
To think any other way for these people, would be the precursor for life long guilt- suicide.
Additionally, why should I stop these people from showing their ass? Veteran or not I’m grateful that people are comfortable enough to inadvertently tell me that they’re not worth a damn.
It’s the material that makes people behave this way, and it’s the material that will change their mind- not shame on an interpersonal level.
It’s not purely for the perp but also for the victim and bystanders, in that they understand this behaviour is not acceptable.
If you’re defending someone being victimized in front of other people that’s of course the right move, but I’d claim that this scenario is uncommon and majority of these jokes are made in confidence.
Everyone understands that these things aren’t acceptable, that’s what makes the jokes “funny”. These jokes are told and laughed at for sake of announcing political affiliation.
The reason that all of these terrible things we’re discussing are becoming increasingly prevalent is because their people are in power (and will continue to be for some time) , not because people need to be reminded that those relegated to the periphery of society have feelings.
I agree and I wanna add on:
I think the fundamental challenge here is that you’re asking people to be “class traitors,” so to speak. Due to patriarchy, it is against the interest of a man to fight against rape culture. The same goes for white people fighting white supremacy. That’s why it’s uncommon, because it is indeed ceding your position of dominance in these social hierarchies. Nonetheless, it is ethical and moral to do so; this is not excusing inaction or ineptitude but rather explaining its pervasiveness.
Do you not?this post was basically me losing it after hearing the kinds of things boys say about me and seeing not a single one of my guy friends defend me ;__; save me bro
I do when I can but I also find myself without many friends as a result. It bothers me sometimes but its best to be alone that surrounded by creepy men, they just seem to be so many of them lol.
