totally been there. i spent like a month fighting travis picking before it clicked. the thing that helped me most was slowing waaay down and just doing the thumb pattern on its own until it was completely autopilot. like embarrassingly slow, just boom-chuck-chuck on repeat while watching tv.

once your thumb is on cruise control you can start sneaking the melody notes in with your other fingers. also Dust in the Wind is a great practice song for this - the pattern is repetitive enough that your hands eventually figure it out on their own.

hang in there, it really does just click one day

Yes

Travis picking is your best bet for learning finger picking to begin with. Its the foundation of basically all finger picking aside from classical.

Some basic tips:

1. First and fore most and most importantly. Make sure your using the right fingering from the start. Your thumb plays the low E, the A, and D. Index plays G, middle plays B, and ring finger plays high e. I know it’s tough at first but it will set you up for more advanced picking later on
2. Start slow. Practice the exercises with a metronome and move up 5bpm at a time.

I just made this to explain what I mean about finger positions

If you can get hold of this book, you’ll be in great hands. Work through the exercises day by take. I think I have a digital copy

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/14341596-travis-picking

EDIT: My photo upload didn’t work so here’s the link to the book above

nice, i’ve been working on something similar. recording yourself is humbling but it shows you exactly what to work on.

I self taught it but used an old Mel Bay book that did an amazing job at teaching all the coordination behind it and assigning the fingers to strings. It took maybe a month or two with a lot of practice for that muscle memory to catch up with everything. It’s a perishable skill as well, I’m a bit rusty with it lately. I tried playing Dear Prudence the other day and it kicked my ass for a bit