Y’know what I love? Being financially abused. We just walked to go fetch his bike that I had to take more loans from his father to pay for, but I had $150 of unexpected charges from what I must assume from his completely broken, in no way usable, ESPECIALLY for Amazon laptop that I see Amazon open all the time.

I genuinely don’t know what legal shit is coming. In tandem with starting my medication at full doses was a number of seemingly coordinated events that resulted in me confessing and being honest with my new doctor, which I think I benefit from? I don’t know anything! I’m just told by my…this is a new one and I’ll get a screenshot next time I see it, but I get strange boxes of text in my keyboard now for some reason that directly spells out “Write Cult Story,” which I definitely see how that CAN lead to a payoff, I just don’t know if it will.

At this point, the CIA/etc have kerfucklefied my identity framework so the narrative on which I base my decision making is updated on a regular basis. I sincerely thought I was just instantly going to become mega famous by getting arrested with some headline like, “Arizona Man and Leader of a Sex Cult, Victoria Phoenix, Picked Up By State Troopers While Trying to Escape State on Bike with Pounds of Drugs and Mentally Ill Man in Tow” and then it would just get thrown out because the cops have violated my rights already multiple times.

And this COULD still happen. I just think other options might be more prudent and wise. Trying to get a writing job…well, I certainly do the righting g00d, it’s a matter of how I have no idea how to approach anybody with any number of fiction or nonfiction stories I have, let alone the articles! And juggling on campus is going to happen soon, and if you don’t know, some college kids don’t know that $20 is a lot and will give that to you if you just ask, which you shouldn’t outright, as there needs to be energy exchange for positive types of karmic entanglement.

And it’s not enough that I make myself sustainable anymore. No! God has tasked me with doing all but wipe the ass of this sweet, lying, mentally ill man hemorrhaging money, so I must do that! Big monies! That’s how I gotta think. Money affirmation is retarded, but there’s truth to it. What you intend directly determines what experiences procedurally generate in your personal reality tunnel, that doesn’t have to match anyone else’s.

And that’s where I find some relief, knowing the truth about what it means to be my own monad, and that I will never be handed a task too great, and I’ve been through the ringer to know the worst that things get, and it’s alright, this reality thing, I gotta say. I met a weirdo who understands my weird! That wasn’t by chance! That ish was magickal, but that’s a post unto itself, how we met and fell in love. Almost makes this money shit forgivable.

PS: got a pic of it. Like, that’s CLEARLY something, yea?

    • Impractical_Island@lemmy.worldBanned from communityOP
      17·
      4 days ago

      Weird, I got over 500 updoots on my post just yesterday here about touching butts. I never know what you normies like. You’re so fucking normal you’re weird because our culture is designed to catch and control people who cannot think for themselves.

      But, I say that out of compassion because the thing is, I’m me every day. One second I get a handful of comments comparing me to this or that famous writer. The next I’m the biggest retard the world has ever seen. And I know I sincerely not doing much in terms of variance to what I do, so what does that say about those people who don’t get me? Love you, I just speak this because there’s an influx of downvotes at inception so there’s likely others who want to say similar things but less nice.

      • mfed1122@discuss.tchncs.deEnglish
        3·
        4 days ago

        Woah woah woah, normie?! Okay I’ll try not to take offense 😅 Someone can be non-normie and still express themselves in a straightforward manner. I think for myself quite a bit, so please don’t assume otherwise just because of my writing style. I actually understand your post just fine, it’s just obtuse and more difficult to understand than the typical post. Not difficult to understand because of its conceptual content - difficult to understand because of the stream of consciousness presentation. I could write like that too, I choose not to. But I think its fine if you want to write that way, it’ll just find less success in this community, methinks.

        People will compare unusual text to a writer in an attempt to make their ego feel as though they recognize something others don’t. Other people are too stupid to understand something even a little outside a stylistic norm. Just depends on the person. Me - I don’t think you’re stupid, but writing in that style doesn’t impress or confound me either (To be fair, almost no writing styles have ever impressed or confounded me). I’ve known some people IRL that are a lot like how you seem to be, they’re nice fine people.

        Anyways, I don’t think you’re getting downvoted because people don’t understand you, I think it’s because:

        1. You’re writing like this is your personal journal, with no concern for giving us context. (“His bike” - who is him?) Some smarter people won’t mind this. But the conceptual content of your post isn’t enough to be make the smart kind of person feel engaged either. I mean, it’s relatable problems dude, but we all feel that way pretty much. It’s a good vent but that’s about it. Bringing me to…
        2. Although the shitpost community (in my opinion, annoyingly) says that “anything goes”, including specifically venting like your post is…the practical reality is it’s mostly for funny images that are a bit nonsensical or trollish, not big text posts.
        3. The vibe of your post sounds like you’ll shrug off any criticism or thinking that isn’t already very closely mirroring your own, and nobody wants to bother having that kind of discussion. Both parties want to be listened to.

        Anyways, for what it’s worth, I do think money affirmation has truth to it. Despite my lack of being impressed earlier, you can write well (I’m just not impressed by good writing, doesn’t mean yours isn’t good lol). Personally I think there’s no harm in making enough money to have a more comfortable life when you’re doing it in an artsy expressive way like writing which puts positive feelings out into society like you said. You could probably reach more people that way than by juggling, which maybe is worth considering. The money, just because its an outcome, doesn’t have to be the purpose.

        So yeah, no hard feelings, I only hit your original post with the downvote because I want to preserve the vibe of the community. It’s like if a guy is playing a good EDM track in the middle of a bluegrass concert, its not like the music is bad, its just important to keep the concert on topic. I hope you find a cool way to keep sharing your thoughts somewhere. I don’t know you well enough to say what’s the best way to do that, but I’m sure your doc and your fellow weirdo have good ideas.

        • Impractical_Island@lemmy.worldBanned from communityOP
          13·
          4 days ago

          And if you understood my comment, you would know I’m addressing the audience in everything I do in my educational (f)art project. You need to stop reacting and act in your full power. You didn’t need to write all that, addressing only me. I’ve already addressed 9/6ths of the things you and everyone else always brings up.

          I write 2k-7k words per day to teach philosophy, spirituality, and mental health skills to help people heal n self-actualize. I’ve done this for twelve years and the idea behind the marketing/pedagogy is that I catch the occasional excavator who will dig through the million or so words I’ve put on Lemmy World in the two weeks I’ve been here, which includes a link to my Reddit library of perhaps just shy of a trillion words, plus my book.

          They learn things like how God is a unified field of consciousness that arose from the supersymmetry of the ever-present, eternal emptiness to then fold in and on Itself across eleven dimensions to form a topological matrix that acts as a monadic nodal communication system so that I may look at feet on the internet at my leisure. That’s marketing, that last bit there. That hooks certain people who may want to join a sex cult for kids (why I was banned from X; I was trying to teach Jesus to the demographics most in need of help), and they learn what the police state actually is.

          Y’know, Trump’s a cop, just like the still very much alive, retired cop, Epstein, similar to Hunter Biden and the Clintons. And Israel! Lost tribe strategy; have part of your network play the heel for intelligence gathering and counterintelligence purposes. But I just write that to help people who don’t understand I r Churning Industrial Assholes. Or was I Fucking Blowing It? Whatever my cover story is, I do a thing for God and people who react the way you do are expected and planned for.

          You assist me in my mission, y’see? And I read the things you say. I think it’s good you said these things. I’ll say a piece on money affirmation. Thinking outside duality, money affirmation has a purpose, as does all intent setting. I now evoke the imagery of that one meme; dude’s in a cell, reaching for the bread when the key’s right there. My life partner, who interned with the CIA whilst attending RIT, is financially abusing me so I am prepared to be famous. They already did the module where I became close with someone and they abandoned me when they found out I wasn’t the celebrity they thought I was.

          Y’know, I got shit I can say, I just realize there’s more important things to say, knowing who WILL read these words.