I’ve had wishes to make the world a better place, but I would be lying if I said I’ve achieved anything I can be proud of. I often contemplate if I may have done more harm than good and the earnest conclusion is that it’s been counter-productive. None of the people I’ve attempted to “turn” to the side of truth have really budged.
They always find:
- an appealing narrative, different flavor of history, a less prickly voice etc.
I have to admit it can feel satisfying to have an “Ideological victory” over them, but what does it matter to me? I’ve come to realize that I’m chasing things I cannot possibly hope to accomplish and maybe it’s time to land back on earth.
Just because I’m weak and alone doesn’t make my contributions worthless. There’s plenty of worthwhile things I can do, like documenting history, making knowledge more accessible, helping to pass the word around communities who need it the most. It’s easy to become angry and justify inaction or even worse apathy - simply for being rejected, but I have to be better than that.
My mother once told me that she saw the horns of the devil over my head. There’s probably a good reason for it and I’ve always wondered why, but I think I finally understand. It’s the selfish-nature I’ve struggled to rid myself of, it’s part of why I’ve been stuck in a lot of these pointless debates and why I’ve been ostracized, by many around me. Honestly? It was mostly justified and until my actions prove I’m a better person and they remain consistent, then so be it.
Once my actions prove me worthwhile to the cause I’m confident the people will find me as well. That’s what I will continue to work on, until it sticks.
My mother once told me that she saw the horns of the devil over my head. There’s probably a good reason for it and I’ve always wondered why, but I think I finally understand.
nah you shouldn’t take seriously anyone who would earnestly say that
It sounds like you’ve spent a lot of energy debating and discussing your position. I have come to accept that this is mostly a worthless project since that is not how movements are built. Don’t beat yourself up too much, work to maintain relationships you value, and put your energy into the real praxis.
Healthy debate among comrades can be productive when we have the same core principles and need to determine the best way to enact them. This can be quite energizing when you find points of agreement and learn from one another.
Hostile debate against a random on the internet can be mildly productive when you play to the “audience” and don’t worry too much about the person you’re debating. This can be quite taxing, and one can only hope they were clear enough in their message to say the audience.
Outside of these two venues it can be quite problematic.
It’d be really nice if we lived in a world where when people were confronted with flaws in their beliefs they changed them.
Everyone would be vegan ;)
