NPR “journalist”

I mean, it tracks

More like helping programmers write e-mails to needy project managers who need a status update on that feature ticket every 11 hemiseconds

I’m pretty sure it involves boofing sacramental wine.

Kristi Noem putting down her own dogs, Biden’s dogs, and anything dog-like that happens to get too close

I didn’t realize it when I first saw this post, but I saw her in the first season of Columbo! She’s in it again in season 3, and I think I’m up to the episode right before that.

mOrRaLlY gReY

Ingrained in society thanks to Divine Right of Kings brainworms and subsequent political dynasty worship. See: the Kennedy family, the Bushes, the Clintons, et al. Media has been grooming us for this shit for a century.

They should have just let Rian cook

Stargate SG-1 did something similar. It was a wormhole having subtle effects on an asteroid’s trajectory that just happened to aim it at a planet, but the asteroid was initially put in the path of said wormhole by the Big Bad. This is followed by Bombs Not Food trying to save the day, failing, and the in-universe version of deus ex machina.

Bravely ran away, away

Better than coming out a Stallman, but at least then your feet create their own edible mushroom circles

Terrified of going to pride in case I accidentally step in a mushroom circle and get whisked away to Pete Buttigieg’s bordello of border collie blood

No snuggle pupping means no snuggle pupping

:stank:

Eisenhower

lmao, Jesus fucking Christ, reading this is self-harm

Wait, I thought he was Timbaland and he was in Troll 2

Would (bring up Buttp*ssy forum drama apropos of nothing and then GAS over a Jim Root Terror lunchbox head for 45 minutes)

No moms no masters!