I’ve been watching BCS recently and I’ve got to say it kind of sucks and isn’t as good as I remember Breaking Bad being. Things seem to happen with very little reason and a great deal of convenience. Like why the hell would Jimmy not show the advertisement to his bosses at Davis & Mains first before airing it?? There is absolutely no benefit to not doing so, and he already knew that the bosses had a positive opinion on an ad so they’d almost definitely approve it.

And why would Mike choose to get beaten up by Tuco?? “Sorry, it’s too dangerous to shoot this guy with a rifle at distance, instead I’m going to get into a hand to hand fight when he has a revolver and I have no gun.” I mean I know Tuco must live to the next series, but still that was kind of silly. Or like Mike got an in into the criminal underworld of Albuquerque by just asking a rando taxi driver who happened to know a vet who had illegal work.

It’s not alll bad, I really liked the plot about Mike’s son, the show has good moments it’s just that the scenes between the moments make little sense.

Idk maybe I just have rose tinted glasses for BB and BCS is the same quality and I’m just remembering BB being better. Inbetween watching BB and BCS I did watch The Sopranos so maybe my standards just hot higher, idk. Are the later BCS seasons better?

God being unemployable makes me want to fucking kill myself. I can’t seem to get another job and even if did I couldn’t hold it down for more than a couple of months. Got let go from my last one because I wasn’t productive enough but I was really trying my absolute hardest, I really just work noticeably slower than most people. I can’t do the work other people can, I can’t do the hours other people can

I need a lot of money if I’m ever to be happy. FFS is expensive, SRS is expensive, and I don’t think I want to live if I can’t get those at some point in my life

I just got to really hope I can find somewhere that’ll put up with me and scrape enough money together for surgery. But even then It’ll be years, maybe decades, till I’m okay with existing in this body

God dammit why does weight shit have to be so one sided. Been trying to lose weight over this past two weeks, starting at 200.2 lbs I got down to 190.5 by only eating 1 meal a day, I was a little cranky at first but I’ve gotten into the rhythm and it was going great. Yesterday I made fried rice and had a bowl of it, later in the day I got high and decided to splurge a little and had a small portion of leftovers in addition to what I already had. Well today I went up 3 lbs because of that slip up.

I try and I try and lose only like a pound or less a day and then one slip up and boom there goes multiple days worth of progress.

I feel like I’m fighting the world with everything I do. Trying to eat less, trying to smoke less, trying to take better care of myself. Days to weeks of progress can be destroyed in a single instance, it’s so one sided and bullshit. Still very determined to lose weight though, even if this fuck up has frustrated me to no end