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Joined 4 months ago
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Cake day: September 25th, 2025

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  • It’s not sufficient in my state. They specifically need the birth certificate, passport, or equivalent proof of citizenship to match the name. Or for a marriage certificate or divorce decree to prove name change. Right now at least, court orders for other purposes than marriage or divorce are not accepted. Not sure if it’s something new, but it’s the current requirement.

    Passport also requires gender match between document used for identification and the one used for citizenship proof, so I didn’t look at if that has the same name change documentation requirement. But either way, the birth certificate changes are holding up my ability to get either of them, currently.


  • It’s not the gender that’s the main issue with the state ID, only the passport. I asked when I updated my driver’s license and they said I had to separately reapply for a Real ID and that had to follow federal guidelines which includes proof of citizenship or legal residency which would mean a birth certificate or passport (which requires a birth certificate for people born here) with my legal name. I no longer have a valid birth certificate with my legal name until my birth state agrees to update it. It’s shitty, but the federal government won’t acknowledge a legal court order for name change on top of the old birth certificate like they do for name changed with marriage certificates, and so the state doesn’t allow it for Real ID. And my current driver’s license has no connection at all to my Real ID license in my old name, so there’s no simple way to prove I’m a citizen right now in a way that’s acceptable to the silly requirements despite my picture being on my ID and passport with my old name and still having the same last name. Cruelty is the goal.




  • Yeah my state doesn’t care what I put, but my birth state is being an ass. Without a birth certificate I can’t prove citizenship and so can’t get a Real ID or Passport, so for me the real issue is travel. And I need to travel for some surgery which means I can’t get the surgery.

    I have my SSA name change (gender can’t be updated anymore but it’s not that important) and my driver’s license, so I can still work for now. But the ultimate goal by the far right, if the Epstein files are to be believed, is to make trans people dependent on illegal sex work to criminalize our existence (and make money off of us for Epstein as a “pimp”) and from being able to flee the country.



  • I did it very slowly over a few years. Friends already knew I was non-conforming and considering a new name from a limited audience Facebook post I had made talking about names I was considering. And when I decided to start hormones I let some friends know that I had, and they asked if I was using a new name. Acquaintances kind of picked up on it and asked if I hadn’t or a friend hadn’t already told them.

    My family I sent text messages, I live far away and don’t really do phone calls much.

    The hardest was work. I didn’t change it for a couple of years. I work 100% remote and never use a webcam, so people didn’t see my physical changes. I have a lot of connections across the company who know who I am from meetings and asking me questions that I’m an expert on.

    I actually ended up telling a few people I work with closely last summer and then putting my name into an avatar picture (it’s short) in every company website, messaging app, etc. I left that up for a while and told people who asked about it. Then I went on medical leave for my bottom surgery for 3 months. I scheduled my legal name change during that time period. I somewhat recently got back and with the legal name change going to HR, my name changed on a bunch of places automatically (email, WebEx, HR sites, Confluence, SharePoint, etc). So, that was the hard cutover. It’s gone pretty well. My coworkers spread the word for me for the most part to people I don’t really talk to. I’m sure a lot of people didn’t ask me directly but asked my coworkers which is fine, I know it’s an uncomfortable subject for some.


  • It also works much like space, only a single dimension. And similar to space, the distance between two points on a line can change if the line is stretched without affecting the distances of things around it necessarily, the distance between to places in time can change locally through time dilation.

    So take a piece of elastic and an piece of paper. Draw a line on the elastic and an equal length line on the paper. Take two small windup toys or some other thing that can move in a straight line at a steady pace and that both move at the same speed. And put one on the paper and one on the elastic. Now imagine that the toys or whatever can only look down, directly at the line and points (i.e. they’re one dimensional).

    Normally, both will reach the end of their lines at the same time. But stretch the elastic and run them again and one reaches the end faster than the other. There’s been no break in the line and the points weren’t changed and they’re both still moving the same speed, but the space that the elastic one exists in has been stretched or “bent”.

    Not the best analogy exactly for understanding the concept itself, but understanding that there’s often an underlying thing that usually remains unobserved or in the case of time dilation or bending 3D space, something that is not observable by humans (or the toys) is what to take away. What we perceive is only a small part of what exists. We can only see the effects those things have on space and time to prove that they must exist.







  • And by this logic if the priority is the child must always have both a mother and father above all else, they must outlaw divorce and out of wedlock motherhood, meaning they’d have to not just allow, but force abortions in cases of rape or premarital sex. In fact, they might have to end the child’s life if a parent passes away.

    How far to take this ideal is the question. Even if they believe a child is better off with two cis-het parents, does that ideal override all other rights and concerns?

    And that’s not even addressing that marriage is about way more than children. They need to provide a 100% equal option for everyone else, not the “separate but equal” thing that domestic partnerships provide which was never even close to equal legally.