Have we really become so unempathetic as a society that the act of putting yourself in others’ shoes is unbelievable to the point that people assume you must be part of the group you’re defending? So I often see people being unfairly discriminatory and mean to certain types, attributes or qualities of people, which I know some would be offended and hurt by. But whenever I stick up for them, I get comments like this: “Tell me you’re x without telling me you’re x”. “F*** off, x”. A good example is gay people or trans people. I get heavily criticised for defending them and people immediately assume that I’m gay or trans just because I’m expressing that I empathise with how they’re treated in society and think people should be kinder toward them. There are lots of other examples but I’m worried I’ll be antagonised here just by saying them, so I picked some slightly more socially acceptable ones (yes there are some far less socially acceptable things than LGBT these days, in my experience, despite the rampant LGBTphobia).
Empathy for other groups isn’t universal. For some, they are approaching an opinion from a tribal point of view, and therefore disagreement with the policy is disagreeing with the tribe.
But it can go further than that. I’ve had cases where I’ve tried explaining how things work, and people take that as agreeing with it and therefore I’m part of the other tribe. The idea that people are calm and logical is played out many times as being false.
I get that when I try to explain to people what is meant by “Black people can’t be racist”; the difference between overt and systemic racism etc. It’s frustrating that they refuse to even acknowledge the meaning even if they disagree with it. They will continue to argue against the wrong point.