So, I went to a fancy dinner at a country club over the weekend, and ate the caesar salad (rookie mistake).

Naturally, I woke up Sunday with food poisoning.

After a brief study of literature regarding the effectiveness of Gatorade compared to $20/litre pediatric ORS, I went to the supermarket, only to discover that powdered gatorade was apparently not a thing anymore in my neck of the woods.

So instead, I bought iced tea powder, thinking that I would just add salt to it (you can probably see where this is going now)

I chugged down multiple litres of delicious iced tea with a few teaspoons of salt in them over the next few days as I shat water.

On the third day, I stub my toe, and wake up with an intense pain in my big toe.

I go to the clinic the after calling into work, beleiving that I had dislocated my toe due to the pain when moving or putting weight on the toe.

I get the requisition for the X-ray, and I am able to get the results reviewed the same day.

The X-ray is normal, and lo and behold, I found out that I have fucking gout as if I am King Henry the whatever

I’d been making and chugging 2l Jugs of 50% less sugar partially stevia’d iced tea.

For a week straight.

I bought a 715g container of powder that has maybe half a cup left.

TL,DR: The 3:1 sugar to salt ratio for diarrheal re-hydration is sacred, and violating it will hast thou smote by divine retribution.