Smurf-ass motherfuckers. You’re not even real cops but you still wear that dumbass badge. Guess this is where all the academy dropouts ended up at. I see you taking your own backpacks straight past the checkpoints you fucking hypocrites. You couldn’t catch a bomb if it landed right on top of you you fucking fucks AAAAAAAAA!!! 
My butter knife could be used to take control of the plane? Holy fuck are you fucking listening to yourself? That’s literally my fucking job! Fuck you! And they give fucking butter knives to the business class passengers on the fucking plane, holy fucking shit!!! 
Don’t tell me I’ve been fucking randomed, I can see the green cleared icon reflected in your glasses you lying sack of shit, fuck you! 
As I was flying back from a trip, my bag was pulled. I figured it was due to the giant, foil bags of coffee I bought. The guy checking my bag saw them and was about to say good to go when his superior came over, looked at the image and said “look here.”
Apparently, my LEAF razor set off the scanner, and she went on a tangent that shaving razors are why the TSA was formed in the first place.
…really wanted to bring up that it was box cutters, and 9/11, but it was 6am and I really didn’t want to be yanked lol
Also, the fact I was returning and had brought the shaving razor with me is probably something they should think about, but whatever.