I am posting this here because my experience accepting myself as polyamorous mirrors the process of acceptance and coming-out that was required by my other queer identities.
Just as our culture coerces heteronormativity, so too does it coerce mononormativity- the idea that love should be monoamous. We are taught that love can only exist between two people, that to love more than one person is wrong.
Why? Why should we feel jealous if our lover loves another? To love is the greatest joy in a human life; I would never deprive one I love of such joy. Nor could I be with anyone who would so deprive me. How vile a thought, to look upon two people and say, “Your love is wrong; I will not allow it.”
For years I thought I was going to hell because I fell in love again after getting married. Today, I am with both of them, and I am in heaven.
Gods yeah I’m finally in a relationship where my polyamory is actually accepted and it’s sooo nice. I’m still getting used to not having to walk on eggshells around my partner when talking about relations I have with other ppl. I’m so so glad I got out of my abusive monogamous relationship
Monogamy breeds controlling abuse. I am very happy for you to have your agency back.