• bdonvrA
    18·
    5 hours ago

    Yeah that kind of thing also reinforces gender binary.

  • soloner@lemmy.world
    12·
    5 hours ago

    Encouraging gender identity as a choice diminishes the struggle of trans people today. I’m not against it in principle, but the current political climate doesn’t have room for this stuff. Give society 20 years to figure out how to be equitable berore peddling this narrative.

    • Hugucinogens@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      3·
      2 hours ago

      I don’t like this argument.

      You’re advising

      "not pursuing or discussing what the truth might be, because of political opponents".

      Political opponents who want you un-existing either way, and will use any excuse and lie available to barely mask that hate of theirs.

      Neither those people’s “understanding”, nor their amount of available means to mask their hate, really affects trans people’s freedom.

      The "average Joe" can't be "won over" either, because they don't care. Until something happens, to make them care. Like an a acquaintance or loved one being involved.

      But in the off-chance that they can, (without being personally affected), they will be won over by recognising a truth of the world.

      Victory by “reasonable vibes”, is achieved by reaffirming what’s already in someone else’s head. It’s only a victory if you’re trying to not change something.

      So seek the truth. Don’t appeal to the good nature of the oppressor.

      (tap)

      for more, at least in Jerboa.

      • soloner@lemmy.world
        1·
        2 hours ago

        I don’t like it either but it’s a pragmatic argument. I think you’re a bit out of touch with how society can move forward if we introduce polarizing ideas. We haven’t wrangled how trans women fit into sports. You really think the “let’s make it a choice” argument is going to help with that?

        Plenty of average joes are fine with gay people now, not racist, not misogynistic. We will get there as a society if we try to find common ground. Like I said, it may take another 20 years to sort out how to be equitable to a very marginalized group of people (maybe longer). This trans is a choice rhetoric will prolong that because it diminished any common ground that we are starting to form.

  • Astertheprince@lemmy.dbzer0.comOPEnglish
    54·
    11 hours ago

    I’m transmasc by the way. I know it happens to other femboys and it sucks for them too but for me it feels super invalidating and makes me feel dysphoric to be told I should be a girl 😭

    • subignition@fedia.io
      3·
      5 hours ago

      Maybe there’s a silver lining? I’m just a clueless cis guy but for someone to talk to you from that (unkind) angle wouldn’t it mean they’re assuming you’re male, and therefore passing?

    • grue@lemmy.worldEnglish
      112·
      9 hours ago

      If they’re telling you you’d be pretty as a girl rather than mistaking you for one, doesn’t that imply you’re passing as a guy? Seems to me you could choose to interpret it as validating, in a backhanded way.

      (Then again, I’m just a cis guy passing by from “all,” so what do I know?)

      • Astertheprince@lemmy.dbzer0.comOPEnglish
        16·
        9 hours ago

        They’re invalidating me saying they think I am a girl, they see me as a girl. Maybe it’s nice that I pass as male on some level with them, but they still see me as a girl in some capacity, and that’s a lose in my book, since they still treat me like one, call me one, and use she/her pronouns even when I cry and tell them to stop. Also telling me that I can’t be a boy because “boys don’t like to wear dresses and skirts”.

        • idiomaddict@lemmy.world
          12·
          8 hours ago

          Bro, fuck those bigots. I’m sorry, I know it’s easier to nominally have friends even if you hate them in high school, but those people are dumb, close minded, and making you feel bad.

          I like to dance contra, which has a long tradition of men wearing skirts. You aren’t locked out of whimsy because you’re a man, neither are you immune to spinniness.

          • Astertheprince@lemmy.dbzer0.comOPEnglish
            6·
            5 hours ago

            Agreed, though for some of them it’s a challenge since they’re not just friends but also colleagues and I can’t as easily cut them out of my life. I’m stuck dealing with them, for a while anyway. Thank you for the nice words of affirmation.