“Looks like your lawn has weeds and is over an inch above city code. Do you need help with that? Let me give you a business card for the help to take care of that for you. Also you better vote.”
“Looks like your lawn has weeds and is over an inch above city code. Do you need help with that? Let me give you a business card for the help to take care of that for you. Also you better vote.”
Should I even dare to ponder what is going on in the “Next Door” apps part of the internet?
The local HOA asked me if I knew anything about setting up a website for their org. I told them I’d “look into it and see what kind of options are out there.” What I really thought was “lmao get fucked and thank Allah none of you have discovered Next Door.”
A volunteer panopticon, powered by lead and cortisol.
Ahh… I can hear their anthem now… the slow swelling of weed-wackers and zero-turn mowers crescendoing up into full throttled gas powered leaf blowers…
A two-stroke leaf blower produces as much pollution as fifty suburban assault vehicles per unit of fuel, but they get really fucking mad and will give you a rage serenade on top of that boomer orchestra if you even suggest using a rake.
My sibling has Next Door and says it’s mostly just alerts whenever a brown or black person is walking down the street, also inquiries if anyone heard a gun shot, there’s a shooting range a couple miles away.