• Capt. Wolf@lemmy.world
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    16 hours ago

    “Why does the smoke have to be white? Why can’t it be gold? I want gold smoke, the best smoke. You know, the people will love it, they’ve all told me. ‘Donald, when you’re pope, make sure the smoke is gold. It’ll class up the place.’ We’re really gonna clean up the Vatican, and catholicism as a whole, I think. Me and God, we’re really very close, nobody’s closer, in fact. I think some people maybe said Jesus, but I don’t know about that. Who let’s their son be crucified? You know I asked God once, why would you let your son be crucified if you love him that much? And the whole devil thing? Me and Lucifer, we’re gonna get that sorted out. 24 hours, boom, no more hell, everybody goes to heaven. You make me pope, 100% raptured. 100%, that’s a not a promise, it’s a guarantee. They’ll all say, ‘Donny, you were the best pope ever.’ and they’ll be right.”