When I was very early in my career, fresh grad, first job, I wanted to be the “model Asian” that I’d been indoctrinated into by the society around me, and I was very much all about 水无常形，因器而变 (shuǐ wú cháng xíng, yīn qì ér biàn or “water has no constant shape; it changes according to the vessel”). So when I saw someone getting what I know now to be bullied in a meeting, my assumption was that this was the way things should be done; that was business. I changed my behaviour according to my vessel.

Thankfully I had someone with a stronger backbone than me in that meeting; someone also Asian (in his case Korean), but one who was further along the path of not putting up with that shit than I was at the time. He stood up in the meeting, walked over to the woman being bullied, and in a quiet voice (that thundered in my own ears) said, “This is a business not a playground. We are either professionals here, or you’re down a head count of two.”

See, while I was living according to one proverb, he was living according to a better one for the circumstance: 宁为玉碎，不为瓦全 (nìng wéi yù suì, bù wéi wǎ quán or “better to be a broken piece of jade than an intact piece of pottery”). In his mind there was nothing more shameful than standing by peacefully while a gross injustice was being done.

I really wish I’d had the courage to do that instead of him.

Said go fuck yourself to CEO at a meeting with contractors, then said the same to the boss of the contractors, stormed out of the room, returned with a glass of cognac in five minutes and everyone pretended that nothing happened. It was so epic and hilarious and the funniest thing is both of the guys actually listened and fucked themselves did the right thing.