Like, seriously, I have had a few people talk about how my fiancé wasn’t conventionally attractive, but he’s attractive to me :)
Plus, he’s good to me, and I don’t date for looks. I’ve had conventionally attractive exes too who have been horrible people, so…
Honesty is telling the truth to people. Openness is feeling free to express yourself. Empathy is considering other people’s perspectives and taking their feelings into account. People should practice the last one before impulsively acting based on the first 2. It’s called being an adult member of society.
Lots of people navigate the world being more open and honest about things the way they are, rather than beating around the bush about everything that could possibly be sensitive.
Being nervous and awkward and avoiding the elephant in the room can draw more attention and self consciousness to it then not.
Being nervous and repressed doesn’t make you the be all arbiter of how to navigate the world.
Your personal judgements about others are not “an elephant in the room” that needs to be talked about. They are not objective facts. Ask yourself, when you think someone is unattractive, why is it so important to you that they know you think they are unattractive? What do you think you are accomplishing by bringing it up?
Let’s use the power of imagination, I can imagine a party where a group is having a conversation where everyone is talking about relative attractiveness and how privileged that’s made them in life, and the rather obviously unattractive partner has walked up and has been quiet for a while so someone makes a joke about the elephant in the room and they move on.
Who the fuck has conversations about people’s attractiveness? That shit is boring.
Oh wow, such a valid point you have. Just because you think it’s boring I’m sure that’ means that it’s never occurred before.
It’s not about being open and honest. It’s about that not being relevant. Your opinion on how someone looks isn’t relevant, helpful, or necessary unless it’s directly asked for.
There’s nothing awkward, nervous, or repressed about not going out of your way to open your mouth and make someone feel bad about themselves. You can simply not fucking say something that crosses your mind.
“Brutally honest” people are incredibly annoying. They think they’ve discovered a social cheat code so they can get away with being an absolute ass because they’re just an Honest Person™.
They could have literally been having a conversation about their relative attractiveness when it came up. At the time I posted this, we didn’t have more context on what exactly was said, beyond the initial incredibly vague description of “people talk about how”.
You’re literally strawman-ing what I said. Empathy is considering others. It really is that simple…
I’m not straw-manning any more than you were, given the information at available at the time. and it’s perfectly possible to have commented on someone’s unattractiveness in an empathetic way.
In this case it sounds like neither their friend nor their father did, and I personally wouldn’t because it seems like a minefield, but I have seen cleverer friends and family navigate those minefields.
Sounds like someone didn’t check their empathy before posting honestly!