I’m feeling pretty emotional and crap rn. I spent a stupid amount of money among other things… I feel disgusting and ugly.
(Please delete if not allowed)
Hey, rant out.
The world is dumb and crazy.
Why do you feel that way?
I explain why in the post I made just before this one.
Thank you. I feel so sad right now. And bad that I feel sad. I want to be a happy positive force. A light worker like people in my family. But I’m just a disappointment and I stink.
Oh, I see. I’ve been doing OMAD for 8 years or so and also like fasting for longer periods occasionally, but I don’t want you ending up somewhere you don’t want to be.
Dry fasting can be dangerous and you are not a freak for breaking a fast; we call it breakfast for a reason and I’m not being glib.
Your reasons for fasting sound externally empathetic at the expense of your own health and a better balance for yourself may be available.
It’s okay to eat and it’s okay to buy things you don’t need sometimes.
We’re all learning, I don’t see any reason from your posts for you to be upset with yourself, it doesn’t sound like you did anything wrong, but it’s perfectly okay to be upset. You don’t sound like a disappointment or a stinker.
OMAD for 8 years is amazing.
I don’t think it’s at the expense of my own health since I feel better for it and I am drawn to it for a reason. It feels healing. There’s so much food noise for me it’s practically all I think about and I hate that.
I suppose I feel the need to hide the fact that I did this. It feels too indulgent and it’s too much of a consistent thing for me, bad habit. I’ve never dry fasted that long before though.
Doing what I’ve just done feels like I’ve just diseased myself and put my family in jeopardy. Sounds dramatic but eating in this state feels wrong. I don’t feel truly grateful as I know I could be. I understand how this could sound damaging but it’s my truth. I feel sick and like I’m not letting my body properly heal everytime I eat or drink something.
Sorry, my internet apparently died at the least opportune moment and I just saw my last reply didn’t go through. I think I said roughly:
OMAD works for my body: saves time, guts don’t go nuts. I do OMAD because it makes things easier for me: it’s healthy for me and my life circumstances.
Eating doesn’t sound wrong if you’re putting your family in jeopardy by fasting. Eating sounds like the right way to go.
Truth can be damaging, your truth and self-harm don’t have to be exclusive.
I’m glad we’re talking. Talking about it more could help; perspective and expression is often helpful.
What I meant was by spending all that money and eating when I didn’t need to I was putting my family including myself in jeopardy.
Maybe one day I’ll get to OMAD too.
If you’ve gone several days without eating or drinking, it sounds like you needed to spend that money.
I’m happy you did spend that money and ate and drank; it sounds like the right decision.
I will say, I am doing OMAD rn. What you are describing sounds like a very significant eating disorder.
You say you dry fasted for 60 hours. The most obvious problem here is that the human body can die from dehydration at around 72 hours, or sooner, without water.
You say you fasted for 60 hours and then “failed”. How long were you intending to fast? I doubt that basically any medical professional, even proponents of IF, would recommend fasting indefinitely for fat loss.
Feeling better when you are in ketosis is normal. I suggest that if you are chasing this feeling with increasingly long fasts, that instead you simply switch to a ketogenic diet. Or take up distance running.
Eating after 60 hours of no food would not be considered indulgent by anyone. Eating food is a normal function of literally every animal species - you are not diseased. The idea that eating food is endangering your family is, to be frank, delusional.
To be clear, there is nothing wrong with having a desire to lose bodyfat, nor to pursue reasonable strategies to doing so. However, here is the secret: one of the biggest drivers of gaining and keeping bodyfat is stress. So if you are constantly stressed about being fat, you will keep the fat on. The most important thing for you to do right now is to talk to a mental health professional about the emotions you are experiencing and discuss your current body comp strategies with them. It will be far better for both your health and your long-term bidy comp goals
Heavy on the can die. There are probably people who could die at 24 hours depending on the circumstances.
I am happy that I made it that far. Further than ever before. I have done 72 hours once but with water and black coffee though. But there was shame around how I ended it…(for reasons I won’t fully go into rn). I would like to get to 7 full days and I know I can and will even feel better for it. Someone else may have a completely different response than me if they try that but I know deep in my bones that it will be healing for me regardless of what anyone says. I know it’s been done before by others too.
I guess it’s a combination of the amount I spent and on what that feels indulgent along with that I wasn’t actually hungry etc. and about it endangering my family, it does sound far fetched or quite extreme of a statement but it feels true and I won’t go into why or how right now.
Yes. It is about stress and for some like me, eating is a stressor. Alongside talking to a professional which honestly I can’t see myself doing atm.
I don’t think going 7 days without food or water is a healthy goal frankly, no matter how much self-determination that might demonstrate. I think you are setting biologically unreasonable goals for yourself, which will likely lead to either harming yourself or to breaking the fast in “a bad way” that will make you feel guilty and ashamed again, or both. Your body and your brain (or soul if you prefer, it’s true either way) need nutrition to function properly. Don’t try to bury your hunger until the point you break and consume a ton of calories while on your phone to try and avoid the guilt*. Maybe you could try fasting for a bit while it still makes you feel good about yourself and how you relate to others (because it’s great that you’re doing that!) but before you reach a point where your body semi-autonomously seeks the first available calories, eat one single fruit. Buy a peach or whatever for cents and take a minute to bite into it and taste it, appreciate the good molecules that it’s giving you. Maybe from there you can move to a small salad or some boiled green leaf vegetables, something that won’t make you gain weight and that you can feel good about eating. Food does not need to be something that makes your body worse or that costs a lot of money. It will take time and likely some external help, but I’m sure you can make it and that soon you’'ll be ending meals with a smile while losing weight, and saving money too :)
Please hear us: There is no emphasis on the can die, you will end up in a bad place in one way or another if you ignore your basic biological needs. You will need to break the fast eventually, you just have to plan how you’re going to do it in a way that makes you feel good! You have noble goals in your self-love and your family, and I admire your resolve in your fasts so far, I really do. But as others have said, never eating again is not the way to go about it :)
*: don’t take this in a preachy way, I know the mechanism all too well
I understand all that but what’s right for one person is wrong for another and vice versa.
7 days sounds extreme but it’s deeply healing for me
I don’t quite know why I’m trying to convince you or others…
There was some reasoning behind what I broke the fast with so I’m not too annoyed with myself about that.
Again, the basic biological need that I’m ignoring is not eating. I know my body more than you or anyone else. I can easily eat 20,000+ in one week consistently. And I probably do. Not that I’m counting. I’m not expecting many if any people to support me on this or understand.
And I’m not planning on “never eating again” by any means. That’s completely unrealistic. I just want to reset my nervous system from years upon years of damage. I definitely have BED.
Money can be earned again. Treat it as a learning experience. We all do things we regret later. Don’t stress over it, just assure yourself that you’ve got the lesson and it’s going to make you a better person because you’re wiser now
You matter and you’re valuable, no matter what crap happens
If it’s true that your relationship with food isn’t the greatest, I also suggest seeking professional help, if that’s an option right now. In Germany there are assisted living facilities for women with debilitating eating disorders that the state pays for. And some of them are actually really good. I’d think if you’re in the UK, they probably exist there as well, if walk-in therapy isn’t enough.
Truly, wish you well.
Oof, girl. (?)
While I’m not a doctor, I’d expect that 60 hours of fasting would have as great an effect on your brain as several alcoholic drinks. Of course you’d be struggling with impulse control afterwards!
It’s a huge accomplishment to just say “wow, I did something I don’t like having done and don’t want to do it.” I’d still have an older brother if fully grown adults were universally capable of saying “I should stop this” and then doing just that.
From your last several posts I’d guess that you’re trying a ketogrnic diet / intermittent fasting for weight loss reasons. If so, remember that the length of a fast or time-on-diet doesn’t matter nearly as much as your weekly caloric net. Maybe plan for how you want your fast to end, so you’re not figuring out something with a glucose-starved brain?
Whatever the case, you seem brave and strong and are definitely worth this. A setback isn’t a failure, just a discovery of some way that doesn’t quite work. :)
What do you need?
