Not everything is autism.
Yes, autistic people are still human, and as such sometimes our experiences are shared by people who aren’t on the spectrum. That isn’t surprising. Comments like this give the sense that there’s something wrong with us sharing relatable posts in an autism community, even if non-autistics can relate to the same things.
I’d like to assume that isn’t what you’re intending, but when people post this sort of comment it’s hard not to read it as some sort of admonishment. Nobody said “only autistic people experience this,” or “this is absolutely 100% part of the autistic experience,” and those were never the points. The point was an attempt to relate to others in the same community… which is something we famously struggle with. The post title is a question, asking if others experience the same thing. That’s it - a question to a community. Not a claim that the habit in the post is special to us, just asking if we ever go through it.
Can we have just a little space to share experiences with each other without having to worry about whether or not neurotypicals relate to/approve of the topic? If a meme is relatable to the broader population, feel free to commiserate with us, or even share the image elsewhere to invite broader discussion. Coming along to an autism community and telling autistic people that the things we connect over aren’t “autism” enough for us to talk about in our own space is… well, concerning.
But my life sucks. Surely isn’t my fault? Right?
Used to. Just break it down into small bits and reward yourself with your hobbies or other things you enjoy in between.
This
This sounds more like ADHD than Autism though?
they often go hand in hand, and i’m convinced that in a decade or 2 they will be sorted under the same umbrella with a couple other neurodivergences.
Yes, and learning more about autism has been game changing for me. Now I know that burnout can and will happen and that I’ll likely need more time than I think I do
Time, unfortunately, (and fortunately depending on how you look at it) from my experience, is not the what is the most important. What’s most important is being able to live your life with the structure that enables you to function. This is often times counter to the structure in which neurotypical people live their lives. And, in my case, my own ability to function well on a larger timeline is often hindered by my priority of ensuring my relationship with others is not burdensome.
The type of “structure” I need is usually counter to the structure that others have. And it usually ends up actually hindering others, especially those I live with, from being able to function properly. Which, ironically, means I become a burden or bother to others in the long term if I focus on not being a burden on a daily basis. Daily goals are traded for long term stability and vice versa.
It’s a continuous struggle that, unfortunately, really is only improved by access to the opportunity (luck if you will) for the material conditions of my life to allow the “structure” I need to be productive.
Can you expand on your ways of rectifying this divide? How do you prioritise, how do you keep this from pulling apart (or put it back together again after)?
I ask because your description speaks quite deeply to me and it’s a recognition I had for a couple years but still no real solutions discovered.
As a very concrete example, my partner loves to do the typical weekend pub/bar night, or turn a beer after work into a long evening; every now and again go to a club, concert, even a play or just coffee with others. I want to support them, and often find myself enjoying the activities too. But the days afterwards I am just destroyed with no capacity for creative output. Creative output is the only thing that relaxes and helps me recuperate from social outings. So every time after we do something I’m just a solitary wreck for like a week after. And I don’t really know how to break this cycle yet, without giving up the kind of activities my partner (and frankly, I) enjoy doing together for a long time in between.
I’m not who you asked, but I would set limits on my time in participating and bring the tools I need to help manage the sensory load.
Yes I’ll come with you, but I won’t stay. My partner might have to learn to be okay on their own for the rest of the night or with leaving early with me sometimes. I will bring my loop switch adjustable earplugs and my FL-41 glasses to tone down the sensory inputs so that I have more processing available for social exchanges.
I won’t nag or complain… I will just be aware of when I’m at my limit and then responsibly facilitate my own exit when it’s time.
This really describes a struggle I have. I think what is most challenging for me is that it seems that you need to figure out how to do this unsupported by those you are trying to manage with. Very few people will even feel unburdened by a conversation to frame the situation correctly, and a genuinely supportive kind of person is a glass of water in the desert.
Op needs to make a list, add to it every day and pick something off it at the weekend
The list(s) keep getting longer :(
Huh?
(What you don’t see are the numours shifting that have occurred)
Weekends are a scam. This is what absenteeism is for.
yes
