If you’re the one who made the request for a single check, you’ve declared yourself to be the top. The waitress had nothing to do with it.
A derivation of this I’ve experienced is being Asian. I had two half Chinese half English friends and I’m fully Chinese (roughly) and we went to Chinese restaurant in London and they were going on about how much more Chinese they were than me. I think it was because I didn’t speak Mandarin (they seem to forget Cantonese is a thing but whatever…) anyways they go on about it and when the waiter came he brought me chopsticks and he brought the other two knives and forks and there was just silence … I didn’t say a word I just cracked up and left it at that.
I’m more of a bottom and the check is ALWAYS given to me. I work a bs corpo job and my partner is a decorative painter faux finisher who is regularly covered in plaster. I think the marks of your profession also leave an impression
Adjacent but me (a dude) loves ordering salads when out and half the time the server tries to hand it off to my wife lol.
My sister’s wife always gets the check when we go out to eat. This seems accurate enough.
In 2026 America, bottoms are increasingly the “breadwinner” of the household. Let’s move on from these antiquated 1950’s MAGA assumptions about relationship dynamics!
But also, like the vast overwhelming majority of the time, the waiter/waitress is going to give the check to whichever replies “one check” when he or she asks “Is this a separate check or together?”
Yeah, I’m the (pop culture understanding of the) bottom in my marriage and I’m the one who brings home the veggie bacon. My wife still pays at sit down restaurants, but it’s with money I earned. At bars though I get the drinks so she doesn’t have to get up.
I’m in a poly relationship with my wife. When her partner and I go out together I’m sure everyone thinks we are a couple. I usually pay at restaurants stop i guys I am the top. We are just friends who share a partner.
The waiters/waitresses usually get the bill to the person asking
Which is likely to be the top
But what if (s)he’s the power bottom
As a bear with a twink husband, I am handed the bill about 95% of the time. We do both giggle about it (to each other) every time it happens the other way, though.
For what it’s worth, we take turns actually paying.
I can definitely see some sugar daddy blowing his top if the server put the bill in front of his date.
