i realize this might be a controversial question. i just had this experience a few weeks ago watching a random youtube video and it keeps popping into my head. im not going to link it or even describe the content because i really dont want to be perceived as even tangentially shaming anyone. i was watching this video and at a certain point i just couldn’t continue watching because a man in the video was giving me serious gender dysphoria.
its hard to tell what exactly was even making me feel that way. i think it was maybe the clothes he was wearing and just his overall presentation reminded me of when i was an egg doing my best impersonation of a man but feeling so incredibly horrible the whole time. ive never really felt that way about someone before but it kinda makes sense as like the opposite of gender envy maybe?
idk maybe this wont make sense to anyone. curious about peoples thoughts.
This is my perspective, as a trans woman, but why do cis men just feel okay being like that? They know they can be women, right? If they wanted to be?
This is one hundred percent the thought that finally crushed my egg in a press, all those years ago.
This makes me laugh. As a cis man, I have frequently wondered the opposite.
Like transitioning sounds really hard, and you know you can still wear whatever you want as a man, right? I know it’s easy for me to say, but the labels seem less important to me than the way you express yourself, I guess
Far be it from me to tell anyone that their gender identity is the wrong one, it’s just a thought that comes into my head from time to time.
theres some mildly offensive assumptions baked into your comment. for one we just are women, full stop, no matter how much we transition or not.
seeing a man in the mirror is painful. being treated like a man is painful. testosterone makes me feel wrong in a sort of undefinable way. transition is about alleviating that pain partly.
seeing a woman in the mirror is euphoric. being treated as a woman is euphoric. estrogen makes me feel more like me than ive ever felt before. transition is also about claiming that euphoria.
simply dressing feminine doesnt give you all of that. for some of us it would be worse than doing nothing. like yes it sucks and its hard and if it was really a choice none of us would choose it. for a lot of us, eventually, its transition or die. if what you suggested was possible we would all be femboys and move on with our lives and trans fems wouldnt be a thing.
just saying, maybe your comment isnt the best thing to post in a community of trans fem people.
me too, also i hate men videos, its awful, usually trying find more femme ones or text
especially irl, i just hate it, i cant believe that society want me grow to “this”, its a bit annoying nyaaa
Sometimes when I notice a particularly dysphoric thing in a man (i.e a beard) I cant help but think “how the hell do you put up with that??” So yeah, I very much project, however I’ve been conciously stopping since it isnt good for me nor the random man whom I am judging.
I’ve had similar feels… Sometimes I look at a man and he’s reminding me of the nightmare that’s been my life for decades. Sometimes it makes me really sad and anxious, other times it makes me happy, because I finally woke up.
Opposite of gender envy makes a lot of sense to me.
i cant tell if its dysphoria or simply unattraction (im a lesbian) but I have never liked traditionally masculine body types and features, when i did have a beard it was out of apathy and laziness not desire, i always dressed rather fem or ando tho. sometimes i get visceral reactions to mens appearances, mostly reminding me of when i felt that way and the discomfort associated with it. its far less frequent now with me felling better in my body
Sounds about like my experience
huh. No, i’ve not really had something like that. The closest thing for me was seeing how sad it was that Nick Fuentes wouldn’t accept himself as gay.
Looking at men, especially the ones with big skulls, gives me dysphoria that kills me.
I’m getting traumatized every time I see a man with a big skull because I always wonder “holy fuck am I looking like this from outside?!”
:(
This happens quite a lot to me at the moment. I get it especially bad with the menswear coms here. It’s just photos of guys showing off their nice fits but they make me feel really weird. Like seeing a photo of the prison cell I spent 30 years in.
A long time ago, yeah. But these days, I’ve been transitioned long enough that I don’t sort of reaction/connection like that anymore. Now men are just men, and the idea that the world once saw me that way is something I have to remind myself of, rather than something that sits lurking beneath the edge of my awareness
yeah i actually often feel like other people are not at all happy in their own situation but there’s no way to help them either. i’ve had that my whole life. growing up in a conservative neighborhood, most adult women i knew looked like they were deeply miserable (with a few notable exceptions). stuff just felt wrong in general. maybe they had bad relations to their partner or idk what, some other bad stuff happened. anyways, looking at them always made me cringe. not because of shame of how they acted, but because of sadness of the whole situation. idk whether that’s what you describe.
It only gives dysphoria if he looks like me. Feels like seeing myself being a man. But when I see a trans woman who looks like me I feel second hand euphoria because I see in her the potential I have to be a woman myself.
