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“You’re absolutely right, someone attacking you with an knife is a crime and you are right to feel concerned for your safety. If you would like me to recommend kitchen knife safety tips, just ask, I’m happy to help!”
New Orleans parish council meeting: Ok, how could we make the police somehow even worse?
Thank you for calling 9-1-1. Due to high call volume, we are experiencing longer wait times than usual. Please listen carefully, as our menu options have changed. If you have a cat in a tree, please press or say “one.” If you are experiencing a robbery, please press or say “two.” If you are being kidnapped, please press or say “three.” If you are being assaulted and or battered, please press or say “four.” If your keys are locked in your car, please press or say “five.” If you are in labor, please press or say “six.” For more options, press or say “zero…”
More options: “You can choose to speed up the process by ending the call yourself instead of waiting for no help to arrive”
If you are experiencing a life-threatening emergency, please hang up and dial 9-1-1
Sorry, I didn’t catch that x20. Someone being violent and they have a chainsaw? Turn around and tell them to stop in a firm voice. Heart attack? Turn around and tell them to stop in a loud firm voice.
“I’m sorry, I don’t have the ability to dispatch ambulances myself, but I can generate an image for you so that you can recognize one and flag them down.”
“Yes you can you are the 911 bot!”
“You’re absolutely correct, you brilliantly caught that error. I will proceed to dispatch an ambulance to your location.”
[Doesn’t do anything]
Oh god. Part of me knew they’d do this, but part of me was still in denial.
Man and I thought 911 operators were problematic before. Somehow they are going to make them more racist and sexist.
