COLUMBUS, OH—In an effort to make the streets safer through arbitrary killings, the State of Ohio began executing random people Monday in the hopes they were criminals. “You have to assume at least some of the residents we are hanging and beheading are guilty of something terrible, right?” said Gov. Mike DeWine, who…
  • atomicorange@lemmy.worldEnglish
    18·
    1 year ago

    If we get even one criminal, it will have all been worth it.

    Stray not from the path of righteousness, or the random arm of the law may crush you! Or not, you know, it’s unpredictable really.

  • nvvp@discuss.tchncs.deEnglish
    8·
    1 year ago

    Nah, it’s not going to be truly random. The lottery is fixed and only the poorest 30% are eligible.

  • alicehughes@moist.catsweat.com
    136·
    1 year ago

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