This is not for sketchy reasons, I swear. All the primo spaces in our apartment building’s bike storage room are taken up by rusting rotting flat-tired cobwebbed piece of shit bikes that clearly haven’t been used in years. Half their owners probably moved out of the building and left them there. I have repeatedly asked building management to implement some kind of use-it-or-lose-it tagging system so if a bike isn’t moved in a year it gets junked but they’re basically useless and will never get around to doing even minor computer-only things unless you pester them at least six times, let alone something requiring actual effort like this. So.

I want to pick the locks on these bikes and either move them to the back of the bike room or if they’re obviously junk just throw them out. How difficult is it to pick kryptonite u-locks? Is it also possible to re-lock them afterward? Is there any danger of damaging the bike locks? Some of the bikes also use tube-style combo locks which I know can be fairly easily cracked using the screwdriver tension method (and already managed to do this for a tiny 3-combo lock). Any general tips for getting started? Is it basically impossible to go from never having picked a lock to picking a u-lock? Assume time is no constraint, I can hang out there and pick them for however long is needed.