I met my girlfriend on an MSN chat room in 2005. We had a long distance relationship but when I went to Sweden to stay with her it didn’t work out. She still wanted to be friends but I was so hurt but the breakup that I blocked her from MSN Messenger and I blocked her email address. Looking back on it I regret it because She was the best friend I have had in my whole life. Unfortunately her old MSN Hotmail no longer works because Microsoft replaced it with outlook mail. I know her first and last name her approximate age within 2 years, her hometown and where she went to college. Unfortunately I can’t find her anywhere online. She has a fairly common name and I’ve checked every single social media site and can’t find her. I’ve Google her and used a swedish people finder called eniro and still haven’t found her. Though I found someone that maybe could be her. Problem is I don’t know her birthday. I only remember her being 2 or 3 years younger than me. Is it possible she married and changed her name. I hope she isn’t dead because I miss her and want to reconnect with her. What makes me think she might be dead is that she use to love going online and use to spend hours online everyday. From what I researched on Google Swedish women don’t often change their surnames once they marry. Can a Swede help me find her? I think it would be easier for a swede because Sweden has a lot of public databases, but I’m not sure how to use them. She’s always been on my mind on and off for the last 18 years. But recently I just realized that she was in fact the closest friend I’ve ever had. We use to talk for hours about anything and everything…sadly I have not found such a intimate friend since we broke up and I blocked her. Last time I saw her was on MySpace, I believe her profile was dated 2008. I knew it was her because the pictures were definitely her. I really miss her and am wondering can some Swede help me find her. Private message me and I will tell you all the information I know about her. It’s taken me almost 20 years to realize how special she was. Could a Swede please help me find her? I really hope she hasn’t died.
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The original was posted on /r/sweden by /u/Deep-Independence776 at 2023-08-16 02:44:49+00:00.
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Deep-Independence776 (OP) at 2023-08-16 03:22:47+00:00 ID:
jwds8ot
I hope so because the alternative is that I will have to go to Sweden which I can’t do at the moment because of my job.
clutchkickmurphys at 2023-08-16 03:33:48+00:00 ID:
jwdtkv2
Doubt you could find anything more coming here then what’s Online . Tried searching on the hotmail she used on like Facebook?
svenskgurka at 2023-08-16 05:09:17+00:00 ID:
jwe3sy5
Dude… I thought you only wanted to reconnect with her through chat and just catch up a bit. But the fact that you’re actually thinking about going to Sweden to find her is a bit creepy.
FarPeopleLove at 2023-08-16 06:32:03+00:00 ID:
jweb5c9
That is really crossing the line. You can’t just show up live to seek out an online friend from 20 years ago… that’s kind of scary that you would consider doing that.
Did you ever consider that maybe there is a reason she can’t be found online? It’s not hard to leave a Facebook profile up even if you don’t use it actively.
Deep-Independence776 (OP) at 2023-08-16 07:12:22+00:00 ID:
jweeg5m
I use to live with her in Sweden until we broke up.She wasn’t just some facebook friend that I messaged. Why is that scary to you? I’ve reconnected with old friends online too. I’m thinking there could be a possibility she’s passed away, though perhaps she lost interest in social media. When I knew her she loved going online, we met I’m a MSN chat room.
If you’re implying she’s hiding from me I really don’t think so because the last time we talked she said she still wanted to stay in touch even though we broke up. Never contacted her since. A couple times I tried to look her up on Facebook as I do for some old friends I have lost contact with but she never had an account. The last social media account she had was MySpace and that went offline over 10 years ago. Part of me thinks she might be dead as she had a brother that died by suicide and the suicide rate is higher in Sweden.
I’m not just going to show up at her house. Though there really isn’t anything wrong with it…I know everything is about propriety and politeness in Sweden. I was more thinking about finding her social media or other contact so I could send her a message. I just want to find out if she’s still alive. If she’s doesn’t want to have anything to do with me that’s fine.
XX_ripper at 2023-08-16 12:20:29+00:00 ID:
jwf5zn9
Idk dude … I think you should let it go tbh.
svenskgurka at 2023-08-16 05:07:31+00:00 ID:
jwe3mup
Well… if she still has the same first and last name, and the last name isn’t super generic… then you should easily be able to find her by googling.
clutchkickmurphys at 2023-08-16 03:23:06+00:00 ID:
jwdsa5v
Your hotmail adress still works even if its outlook like mom only uses her hotmail even if she have two gmails and I check mine sometimes
Cartina at 2023-08-16 03:34:00+00:00 ID:
jwdtlqx
I generally avoid helping in situations like this one because it can be used to find people with hidden identities etc.
Also i still have an Hotmail from the 90s that still works, so that part isn’t correct that they replaced them across the board.
But best of luck to you.
XX_ripper at 2023-08-16 03:39:05+00:00 ID:
jwdu7ry
Yeah you never know for sure if some one got secret identity. Its kind of ez to find some one using Osint these Days
Deep-Independence776 (OP) at 2023-08-16 03:43:51+00:00 ID:
jwduryv
What’s Osint stand for. And why would someone have a secret identity? I have never heard of the term secret identity is this a Swedish term? I mean in America there is this thing called witness protection where tge government gives you a new identity…it’s for people that testify against the mafia or powerful gang organizations.
Albasvea at 2023-08-16 03:53:37+00:00 ID:
jwdvw7x
Identity for people who have been for example victims of stalking, abusive partners etc…
Deep-Independence776 (OP) at 2023-08-16 04:22:35+00:00 ID:
jwdz2p5
Thanks for clarifying. The Swedish government seems more solicitous of its citizens welfare because the US government doesn’t do that. The only way you are getting a new identity is in the Federal witness protection program and that is extremely rare.
Deep-Independence776 (OP) at 2023-08-16 04:15:35+00:00 ID:
jwdybf1
Oh…I don’t think this girl falls into that category. Correct me if I’m wrong but Swedes don’t use the big social media sites(Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube ect) in as high a frequency as Americans. That and there has been a decline in popularity of sites like Facebook. I thought you Swedes would have your own social networking sites like the Russians or French but it seems you guys use the Sam’s ones as Americans. I use to be on synggast.se but it closed down.
XX_ripper at 2023-08-16 12:17:14+00:00 ID:
jwf5l5q
Trust me Swedes live on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube.
Albasvea at 2023-08-16 04:21:10+00:00 ID:
jwdyx3f
I would let this one go mate, sounds pretty evident that it was not a good break up and if she really missed you and wanted you back she would have reached out.
Deep-Independence776 (OP) at 2023-08-16 04:32:44+00:00 ID:
jwe050o
She did reach out but I blocked her om my Hotmail and MSN messenger. I haven’t used those services since blocking her in 2005. The only cell phone number she had was the Nokia I bought in Sweden which was deactivated once I came back to the United States. I also moved within a few months of coming back to the US. So how would she get in contact with me?
Albasvea at 2023-08-16 04:36:56+00:00 ID:
jwe0l1r
Well when you put it like that, no idea. Shes probably married with 3 kids by now, I wouldn’t lose sleep over it.
Albasvea at 2023-08-16 04:22:52+00:00 ID:
jwdz3sd
And you are pretty far off on the social media thing.
VipeholmsCola at 2023-08-16 06:10:44+00:00 ID:
jwe9cnx
t
You are so fucking clueless haha. I once got asked if we speak french in sweden…
We have domestic sites but the main sites used is Facebook and the linked ones.
If she changed her maiden name you are stuck. Also, why are you reconnecting with her? Its been 17 years, get over whatever mid life crisis you have and go on with your life.
Deep-Independence776 (OP) at 2023-08-16 07:29:34+00:00 ID:
jweftch
Politeness doesn’t seem to be a Virtue of the Swedes is it the Viking blood or the fact that anyone can act tough online. I didn’t say Swedes don’t use the American social media sites I said those sites might be less popular than they are in the USA. I’m not sure why I want to find this girl, maybe just to see if I can as it’s perplexing to me why she doesn’t have any type of social media when most Swedes do. Really haven’t thought of her much in the last 18 years but decided to try to find her today because I want to know what happened to her even if we never talk again.
XX_ripper at 2023-08-16 03:47:16+00:00 ID:
jwdv689
It’s almost the same thing but yeah. Osint is open source intelligence , You use that in cyber security amongst others
XX_ripper at 2023-08-16 03:48:25+00:00 ID:
jwdvau2
Different governments use it also .
Deep-Independence776 (OP) at 2023-08-16 03:50:51+00:00 ID:
jwdvktg
What is Osint?
XX_ripper at 2023-08-16 03:51:11+00:00 ID:
jwdvm73
Google it
XX_ripper at 2023-08-16 03:51:33+00:00 ID:
jwdvnoq
I’m. Not the best explainer.
Deep-Independence776 (OP) at 2023-08-16 03:49:53+00:00 ID:
jwdvgrv
I tried her Hotmail. Unfortunately I don’t think she uses it anymore because the last time I emailed her was in 2005. All I’m getting is post master outlook undeliverable and uknown email. The last time I communicated with her was when she sent an email saying she missed me and still wanted to stay in touch but I blocked her because I felt resentful at the time.
Farbrokado at 2023-08-16 03:45:26+00:00 ID:
jwduykh
The email address should work like others have pointed out. Also, it’s a bit sketchy that this is the only post on your account.
Deep-Independence776 (OP) at 2023-08-16 04:10:24+00:00 ID:
jwdxre1
Why is it sketchy? I’m new to Reddit. Been browsing different threads for the last few weeks. And I made a post in theology at about the same time as this thread.
sweden-ModTeam at 2023-08-16 06:36:11+00:00 ID:
jwebhqj
Hi, your post has been
Removed:
Make sure to censor all personal information. Personal information includes, but is not limited to, real names, phone numbers and email addresses. Social media sites should be submitted as a censored image.
No articles containing personal information are allowed unless the information comes from the authorities, person in question or newspaper with a public publisher.
See our full rules over at Community guidelines and use this section as a reference when contacting the mods on this subject.
animec at 2023-08-16 05:59:29+00:00 ID:
jwe8dos
There are so many red flags all over this weirdly manipulative post. You need to make like Elsa and Let. It. Go. The mods need to shut this down. Those of you who’re cheerfully trying to help out - oblivious to the red flags - need to get a grip. This is how women’s lives are ruined.
It’s been 18 years - she’s no longer your girlfriend, nor are you likely to be her best friend. Your thought process here comes across as being exceedingly creepy, especially the weird comments about her not being dead; I think you’re well aware your eventual re-entry into her life will only serve to cause distress. You say you’re ready to travel to Sweden to track down someone you had an online relationship with 18 years ago because you haven’t been able to move on in your relationships - that’s how stalkers talk.
I’m really sorry that this is still causing you emotional discomfort nearly 20 years later but chalk it down to experience and talk to a therapist about your difficulties connecting with other people.
RedCDevHA at 2023-08-16 06:58:54+00:00 ID:
jwedcsh
While I can agree there are some oddities on the post, I do think you’re reaction is a bit extreme.
We don’t how long he has been looking for her. While yes they might not be able to be best friends anymore as this happend a very long time ago that doesn’t mean she might think of him aswell. He didn’t talk about his own life afterwards more then he thinks of her every now and then and nothing really points he hasn’t moved from this.
The biggest thing that makes this post questionable is it being his ex but they ended it in good terms it seems he just didn’t want talk to her which is understandable.
animec at 2023-08-16 07:53:47+00:00 ID:
jwehp5o
He did write about his life afterwards, and indicated that he hasn’t moved on - he said:
I just realized that she was in fact the closest friend I’ve ever had. … sadly I have not found such a intimate friend since we broke up
That’s on top of all the other signs.
StanleySheng at 2023-08-16 05:54:47+00:00 ID:
jwe7ynp
Let me guess, another creepy American dude dreaming about having a Swedish gf? Get a life bro
Jazzlike_Spare4215 at 2023-08-16 04:18:56+00:00 ID:
jwdyodb
age span and area/city?
Deep-Independence776 (OP) at 2023-08-16 04:27:55+00:00 ID:
jwdzmy3
36 to 38 pretty sure she was 2 years younger than me. Last known area was Varberg Sweden which was her hometown. She went to school at Kristianstad University. But I guess she could be anywhere now. I still think she’s in Sweden because she’s the type of girl that loved Sweden.
RedCDevHA at 2023-08-16 07:04:27+00:00 ID:
jwedsvi
Have you tried contacting the university to see if they some public information about past students?
Also you said you would go to Sweden to find her, what would to find her by being in Sweden?
Btw you said you had her phone number, you know you can search for that too on eniro and alternatively hitta.se
If I were you I wouldn’t go and physically see her as the first thing after nearly 20 years but send letter to see how she responds.
Deep-Independence776 (OP) at 2023-08-16 07:51:50+00:00 ID:
jwehjqq
I get what your saying. I had her cell phone in 2005. It was stored in my Nokia which I bought in Sweden but I trashed that phone in 2005. I may have had her phone number stored in my computer but that computer was trashed over 10 years ago. I think maybe going to Sweden might be the only way to find out what happened to her because maybe she died already given she hasn’t had any social media presence since the myspace era back in 2008 to 2009 This girl was obessed with social media and being online so not having any social media in over 14 years makes me think she might not be among the living. Thanks for telling me about eniro and hitta.se I think I might of found her but since I can’t remember her birthday and if she had a middle name or not I’m not sure if it’s her. I sent her a message asking if she was from the person I’m looking for by referencing her home town. I will let you guys know how it goes. Thanks for being helpful. Don’t understand why everyone says this is stalkerish or creepy. I have messaged childhood friends that I have lost contact with on Facebook. I guess being older makes you reflect on the past more. I really wasn’t even thinking about her until recently.
Deep-Independence776 (OP) at 2023-08-16 07:57:24+00:00 ID:
jwehz4b
I might try her university but I feel it’s a last option given that I really don’t have a good reason to. Unless this info is just open to the public and it to normal to request these sort of things
RedCDevHA at 2023-08-16 08:47:03+00:00 ID:
jwels7h
Idk how much the university have on previous students that may be public information but I do know that up to high school grades amoung other things can be requested as it’s considered public information.
Even-Mongoose-1681 at 2023-08-16 04:22:25+00:00 ID:
jwdz21d
Just use ratsit/eniro, first + last name + age should be enough to narrow it down. From there you might find a number or an address to send a letter or use Facebook and search by name and city.
Good luck.
slorpa at 2023-08-16 03:45:27+00:00 ID:
jwduyp0
Mate, with all due respect - drop her and sort yourself out.
- You get angry at her and block her on everything because she wanted to break up but stay friends? That’s a dick move and she probably doesn’t remember you as a kind person after that ordeal, I’d be surprised if she’d want you as a friend.
- You did so despite this person being “the best friend I’ve had in my whole life”? That’s nuts and a major red flag.
- This was all 20 years ago? Dude, you really really need to learn how to make friends, and digging up a 20 year old relation that did not work out is not the way to do it.
I’d be very surprised if she would take you reconnecting as a good thing. You’re free to try of course but to me it seems just creepy, and you come across as very needy. A healthy person would have moved on, and found new people to fill their lives with.
Again, with all respect, but I think you need therapy, and do some good working on yourself.
Deep-Independence776 (OP) at 2023-08-16 04:06:23+00:00 ID:
jwdxbma
I really haven’t thought about her that much. But now and then I think about her because she was my first girlfriend. Why is this creepy It’s not like she told me to stop contacting her and I keep bothering her.
slorpa at 2023-08-16 04:31:03+00:00 ID:
jwdzys5
It’s not normal to not have moved on. A healthy person would 20 years later have had a range of new friends/partners and that first fling would be a distant memory.
It’s weird to think that she would want anything to do with you at all, some 20 odd years later after you blocked her on everything. She’s likely a totally different person now, having gone through another quarter of her life. I’m not sure what you’re expecting to happen when you contact her, and the fact that you have an urge to, and have been searching all over the net after her, just tells me you need to learn to find new people in your life to fill that hole you have.
Even-Mongoose-1681 at 2023-08-16 04:19:43+00:00 ID:
jwdyrdp
What the fuck are you talking about? They broke up, he was hurt. Which he’s well within his rights to be.
Now he wants to see if she wants to catch up years later because he misses a friend and you’re acting like he’s insane for missing a person he held dearly.
Get a fucking grip, holy shit.
slorpa at 2023-08-16 05:33:01+00:00 ID:
jwe60od
He literally said in a comment:
I hope so because the alternative is that I will have to go to Sweden which I can’t do at the moment because of my job.
About an ex from 20 years ago that he has no reason to believe is even interested in even talking to him, who is probably in a totally different stage in life.
Heathly people move on from these things, not dwell about them.
Also, you might wanna get your anger issues checked out too. ;P
Even-Mongoose-1681 at 2023-08-16 06:03:52+00:00 ID:
jwe8r8m
Never said it was a good idea. But he’s not on need of therapy because he misses a person.
slorpa at 2023-08-16 06:12:04+00:00 ID:
jwe9gqd
Not for “missing a person” but possibly for clearly not having a very rich life if he’s still hung up on this ex 20 years later to the point of feeling the need to go search for her in person, and going out of their way to try and “reconnect” .
Look at the whole context, including him still thinking she was the best friend he ever had, all while blocking her out completely, and wanting to see her in person 20 years later. It’s not normal or healthy behaviour.
Even-Mongoose-1681 at 2023-08-16 06:38:05+00:00 ID:
jwebnfy
I seriously doubt they’ve been living in total agony for the past 20 years losing sleep over this person. But rather that they remembered them and wants to know how they’re doing.
You’re acting like he’s going to hunt the person down and kill them.
RedCDevHA at 2023-08-16 06:50:09+00:00 ID:
jwecn1o
Yes it is, well it’s hard to imagine in which way he’s going about this and for how long he’s been searching. But I’m going with the benefits of doubt here.
They way I understand this is that he has moved on from her but as anyone who had a best friend but lost them he obviously thought about her every now and then as you do. Now he decided to find her and as she’s Swedish and he’s not, he decided to ask r/sweden for some possible options he doesn’t know about.
Desperate-War-3925 at 2023-08-16 02:56:09+00:00 ID:
jwdow7e
I hope we can help you with this!