Spent the last two years basically wasted. Surprisingly have moved up a lot in my life in that time, something to be said about the functional alcoholic.
I’m making this post because I feel like fucking hell, and I’m tired and it’s like every good feeling has been replaced by dog shit.
But I’m not like craving booze right now and so I guess I’m sort of not dependent on it at the moment. I’ve been active too, going to shows and parties and such. They’ve been dramatically less fun, but at least I’m not holed up and away from society like every other time I’ve tried to get off the sauce.
That’s nifty.
Probably will have a drink sometime soon, whatever. Just nice to prove I don’t actually HAVE to drink I guess.
deleted by creator
lol that’s not too far from reasoning
Main reasons for the sudden sobriety is
I’m not getting what I want out of it and I feel dependent on it for bullshit reasons
Vanity
Bank account
deleted by creator
yeah I kept running into the I’m not really having very much fun, I’m just sort of trashed for the hell of it wall a lot recently
If I was having fun I doubt I’d even have really given this the attempt lol
deleted by creator
I’m sitting here trying to word mine
It’s like I can only feel positive about something (or someone honestly) when striving for it. When I get “the thing” my mind warps it into something negative, because if i have something it cannot possibly be good.
Booze allowed me some peace with this, but that has faded.
deleted by creator
Appreciate the commiseration, legitimately
deleted by creator
I fear there is none but to find a way to accept your own nature and mitigate the worst impulses that stem from it.
it’s a fucking nightmare lmao