SCP 001 : 05 the Factory
It happens, sometimes, if you’re hiring someone to work in a remote location. Oil rig workers, say.
Why not let children live in womb ?
No. They are absolutely desperate to get people to return to office aren’t they?
I’ve said it many times now. The workhouses are coming back.
Oh, for fuck’s sake. I started reading this thinking it was satire, and after it just kept going did I realize that this was serious, and not just some long-form ribbing.
We really need a term opposite to “eat the onion”.
I really shat the yam on that one.
I don’t know. I think the opposite of an onion would be an orange not a yam.
Well the opposite of eat would be barf, so, “horked the orange”?
Edit: a word
That works
I get the dystopia but if a company gave me an apartment in the city along with family healthcare where they pay 100% of medical costs. I would take minimum wage.
“No, no, no, it’s not a company town… it’s a company tower… which is completely different. By the way, did you meet Brian? He’s the new manager of the convenience store the company opened in the lobby. It’s right next to the company elementary school. You can use the company issued script to buy stuff there, it’s great!”
I’m sure it was your autocorrect, but for anyone who doesn’t know it, the term is “scrip” :)
Wait, I should type :( because it’s a very depressing concept.
Company towns coming back as company apartments.
I owe my soul to the company store…
Next stop, severance minus the outie part.
To actually address the question, it’s because commercial buildings don’t (generally) meet residential building code requirements, even if there’s a kitchenette and a shower, etc. They are simply not meant for the same purpose or to be occupied 24/7 unless they were engineered that way from the start, which is exceedingly rare. A lot of office buildings have floor-to-ceiling windows and complex HVAC systems simply to make sure people aren’t cold, breathing stale air, or too humid/dry, so they also use a lot of energy.
Corporations: “We will literally do anything to avoid giving our employees dedicated workspace where they can do their job uninterrupted.”
in the key of G “and I sold my soul to the company stoooooooore”
Glad to see someone on the same page. I read the title and immediately thought SAINT PETER DONTCHA CALL ME 'CAUSE I CAN’T GOOOOOOO
Why not cut this slippery slope crap and just go straight to slavery?
they stopped themselves from being literally The Onion just in time
I find it hard to believe he’d just table the idea at that point.
Slaves are more expensive since you have to treat them as capital.
Nah, you generally can depreciate capitalized assets /s
Only if they’re regulated. Or if salaried workers have any rights, since you could otherwise just conspire with other companies to push salaries down, ensuring
“free” slavescollaborating individual entrepreneurs are cheaper
No, let them work from home.
That’s the idea.
When the office becomes the home, they are working from home.Do you want your office to be home?
No. I like having two different places for work stuff and not work stuff.
Sure, let me take a dump on your desk too.
