I kind of saw this coming. It doesn’t matter, because I didn’t prepare. I kept hoping things werent as bad as i’ve thought. I’ve spent a lot of days since Jan 20 trying to thread a needle between staying appraised of what’s going on, for my own safety, and trying not to give in to panic and despair.
But… life has been hard. I disassociate from scary stuff. Most days I don’t think about things, while a little voice in my head screams, “You can’t be sitting still. There’s so much you need to do.”
But that’s what I do. I spend a lot of time trying to find work and make ends meet. I spend a lot of time just coping with my moment on a small level; the wider world seems unimportant when my day to day struggle is mostly… trying to be ok
but im starting to realize I can’t be ok. I have a lot of time that’s being wasted. Things are happening in the US that are about to make my life hellish and dangerous, and i’m doing nothing, trying to find a job and acting like things aren’t going to be absolutely batty within a year.
I can’t do it anymore, but I don’t have a natural mindset that lets me just break out.
What are y’all doing? How do you overcome the urge to just… keep going on the track you know?
I can’t keep acting like everything is fine. Nothing is fucking fine.
i took a firearm safety class and got my utah concealed permit and almost have my state permit.
i have done my best to stockpile food, medicine, ammunition, not for End Times but for disruption of services/mild chaos.
Working on getting a misgendered passport, as that’s all that’s allowed to me now.
joined a local communist org - not a very good one from what i hear, but one that accepted me and i’m working up the courage to go to another meeting. The last one i tried to attend was overflowing which made me happy but i couldn’t bear standing awkwardly around the door with a little crowd.
working on saving up money to get out of this country while the borders are still open.
the news is super stressful so i have a private discord with some categories and i take the links and i archive them in these rooms. This sort of lets me acknowledge them and see the headlines but I don’t feel the need to share them with my family or friends (which stresses them out). it weirdly tricks my brain into thinking that i have done SOMETHING though and lets me move on. Having been doing this for years now i also saw much of this coming (well climate stuff, the fascism curved quicker than i anticipated) which is why i have my modest little stockpiles.
Does any of this materially help the situation for anyone… I dunno. It’s how I been coping. I cry a bit too.
This is all good ideas. It’s nice to someone spell this stuff out when a lot of us are feeling too overwhelmed to make a list. Appreciate it.