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weird@sub.wetshaving.social to memes@lemmy.world · 1 day ago

I mean...

sub.wetshaving.social

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I mean...

sub.wetshaving.social

weird@sub.wetshaving.social to memes@lemmy.world · 1 day ago
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  • Smoogs@lemmy.world
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    57 minutes ago

    Because the 6% are psychopaths capable of murder. I thought it was closer to 3% of the population though

  • aiden@lemm.ee
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    1 hour ago

    cut one in half. then take turns each taking an equally sized bite

  • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today
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    6 hours ago

    My solution is cut both apples in half, and take two halves, because I am more equal than others.

    • therealjcdenton@lemmy.zip
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      6 hours ago

      Some animals are more equal than others…

  • PoPoP@lemm.ee
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    10 hours ago

    Line em up and cut a third off both apples in one go? Everyone gets 2/3? Seems simple right? Consider the core. I don’t think it’s possible if you consider the core. You have to kill one of your friends.

    You have to kill one of your friends.

    You have to kill one of your friends.

    Choose which one of your friends to kill.

    Reach for the knife before someone else does.

    You have to kill one of your friends.

    • 5too@lemmy.world
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      1 hour ago

      Cut 1/3 up from the top or bottom?

      (the apples! Cut the apples!)

    • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      2 hours ago

    • Maxxie@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      8 hours ago

      Rotate each apple 90 degrees so that core is parallel to the ground and perpendicular to the knife, now its split equally

      If more than one person hates the stem part then yea it’s murder time

      • aeshna_cyanea@lemm.ee
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        7 hours ago

        The core isn’t evenly distributed along the axis though, it’s like a small thingy in the center. Definitely murder time

        • Arrkk@lemmy.world
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          2 hours ago

          This is actually the sandwich problem, which states there is exactly one slice that will split a sandwich of 3 elements into exactly 2 halves regardless of the shape or position of those elements. We don’t need the full proof, but the problem is continuous, so any desired ratio is possible, therefore you will always be able to slice an apple into exactly 1/3 and 2/3rds “good bits”, so a single slice will always be able to do the job.

          • aeshna_cyanea@lemm.ee
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            14 minutes ago

            I still struggle to visualize it. If we have two concentric spheres (or circles), how can you make a cut that slices both into ratios of 2/3 by volume/area?

        • jumping_redditor@sh.itjust.works
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          6 hours ago

          diagonals

    • NocturnalEngineer@lemmy.world
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      9 hours ago

      Or you could sacrifice yourself, you murderous bastard.

      • PoPoP@lemm.ee
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        7 hours ago

        But then I would be dead.

  • sbird@lemmy.world
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    8 hours ago

    Cut both apples in half. One half for the blonde, one half for brownie, one half for the ginger, and the last half for the animals or something.

    • bestboyfriendintheworld@sh.itjust.works
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      6 hours ago

      Last half for the painter of this picture.

      • sbird@lemmy.world
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        4 hours ago

        :D

  • SabinStargem@lemmy.today
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    10 hours ago

    Just eat out the apples together, ignoring the knife. Just take a bite and pass the apple to the next person, repeating the process until there is just a core. Not very sanitary, but mission accomplished.

  • ulterno@programming.dev
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    8 hours ago

    I get the apple with the leaf for solving the puzzle.

  • collapse_already@lemmy.ml
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    12 hours ago

    And you have one less rival for getting a girlfriend.

    • chatroom@lemm.ee
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      11 hours ago

      Is there a Bechdel test but for incel men?

      • Hupf@feddit.org
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        8 hours ago

        https://xkcd.com/322/

        • medgremlin@midwest.social
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          3 hours ago

          As a nerdy gal on the Internet, I envy Joanna.

        • MrAlternateTape@lemm.ee
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          4 hours ago

          That made me laugh, thanks!

  • Omnipitaph@reddthat.com
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    17 hours ago

    If you have one guy draw the knife over a long surface and distance, the other two can use that one slicing motion to cut the apples any number of times.

    ONE STROKE, 99 cuts!

    • 🧟‍♂️ Cadaver@lemmy.world
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      55 minutes ago

      I got 99 cuts, but a stroke ain’t one

    • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
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      16 hours ago

      ONE STROKE, 99 cuts!

      Like shaving with an old razor blade.

  • iAvicenna@lemmy.world
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    22 hours ago

    I will be the cpt obv

    1/3 1/3

    <=======]==o

    2/3 2/3

    • idunnololz@lemmy.world
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      14 hours ago

      Ok but like how do you know it’s 1/3 of the apple without any other tools.

      • JackbyDev@programming.dev
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        5 hours ago

        What’s funny is that you’ve actually stumbled onto an entire problem that’s studied quite heavily. I remembered a Numberphile video about this. The problem is called “envy-free cake splitting”. It’s pretty straightforward. A split is envy-free if no one believes someone else got more than them. For three people this was figured out in 1960 and you can read about it here. It has been solved for N participants as well and you can read about the general problem here.

        For two people, it’s obvious. One splits and one chooses. The first person is incentivized to make it even because they don’t know which they’ll get.

        I was going to give a summary of the process for three people but it’s too much to explain succinctly. Just check the article I posted lol.

        • iAvicenna@lemmy.world
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          48 minutes ago

          How is it obvious for two people, what if I have horrible manual dexterity and despite my best efforts, I slice the cake like 1/3 and 2/3, and the other person picks the bigger piece? I would very much envy the other piece

          • Krauerking@lemy.lol
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            16 minutes ago

            Then have them cut and you choose. Easy. Now they envy your piece and having better dexterity as well.

            Insert Thanos balanced meme here.

          • JackbyDev@programming.dev
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            24 minutes ago

            Your “cut” would not be complete until you believe you’ve made them 50/50.

            • iAvicenna@lemmy.world
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              9 minutes ago

              here we go infinite cuts

      • JackbyDev@programming.dev
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        5 hours ago

        deleted by creator

      • iAvicenna@lemmy.world
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        8 hours ago

        it is a magical long sword of apple slicing (+5 damage and THAC0 against apples, +1 otherwise)

      • blarth
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        11 hours ago

        Let’s not go too deep on this alright

        • JackbyDev@programming.dev
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          5 hours ago

          Right… right… but https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Envy-free_cake-cutting

          • iAvicenna@lemmy.world
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            52 minutes ago

            I did not expect to see this today

      • ghen@sh.itjust.works
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        11 hours ago

        Cut first, choose last. It’s as fair as you can get when eyeballing it

        • JackbyDev@programming.dev
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          5 hours ago

          Only works with two people. For three you use Selfridge-Conway procedure](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selfridge–Conway_procedure) which uses up to five cuts.

  • daggermoon@lemmy.world
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    19 hours ago

    Kill one person?

    • prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works
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      17 hours ago

      If your stroke is good enough you don’t have to share the two apples with anyone.

      • Natanael@infosec.pub
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        1 hour ago

        There are multiple kinds of strokes which will ensure you don’t have to share (including a medical one that removes you)

  • Brave Little Hitachi Wand@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Ah damn it’s one of those single-use knives.

    • Semperverus@lemmy.world
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      23 hours ago

      Only if you didn’t bring extra knife ammo

      • Natanael@infosec.pub
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        1 hour ago

        It’s one of those shivs from the last of us

    • taiyang@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      That’s why you get the knife subscription plan.

      • hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        22 hours ago

        Don’t give them any more ideas.

      • Brave Little Hitachi Wand@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        Yeah fuck buying things for life - I am now buying things for death

    • Destide@feddit.uk
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      1 day ago

      Cross contamination there’s a girl there you’ll get girl germs

      • Brave Little Hitachi Wand@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        Not if they get me germs first

        • SkyezOpen@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          Thank you for your service and sacrifice, brave little Hitachi wand.

  • Fargeol@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    • Anas@lemmy.world
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      16 hours ago

      Luigi says [ Removed by Reddit ]

      • Wilco@lemm.ee
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        2 hours ago

        Luigi says: Just imagine one of the others is a Healthcare insurance CEO, you know what to do.

  • waigl@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Non-murder solution:

    Place and hold the apples precisely on top of one another. (Make sure your fingers are not in the way.) From one side of the apple tower, go horizontally exactly two thirds of the way to the other side. At that position, cut vertically through both apples from top to bottom. You now have two pieces that are two thirds of an apple each, and two pieces that are one third each. The kid you like best will receive the end slices without the apple core in it.

    More realistically, disregard the stupid premise and make as many cuts as you need.

    • WolfLink@sh.itjust.works
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      14 hours ago

      Apple’s aren’t square so it’s not so easy to figure out where to cut that will give you a 1/3 - 2/3 split.

    • FireRetardant@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      The knife looks long enough you could probably cut 1/3 of each apple while they are placed side by side, which might be easier and safer to cut than stacking the apples.

      • errer@lemmy.world
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        That seems more possible than turning the knife 90 degrees mid-cut

      • Sc00ter@lemm.ee
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        19 hours ago

        Yall just cut straight down with your knives? You dont angle the blade and slide it ?

      • ryannathans@aussie.zone
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        1 day ago

        Bingo

    • u/lukmly013 💾 (lemmy.sdf.org)@lemmy.sdf.org
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      1 day ago

      Take both apples and attach them to a drill. Position the knife on apples so that it starts slicing a long slice as they rotate and run the drill. You’ll end up with a long piece of 2 apples and 2 cores. Keep the long peels, give each core to each one of those peasants.

    • hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      22 hours ago

      If the knife is long enough, you could simply line the apples up and do that.

    • Nariom@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      deleted by creator

  • this@sh.itjust.works
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    13 hours ago

    deleted by creator

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